


It Was Always You

by Laurabella2930



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamsharing, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Past Lives, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-25 14:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4964938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurabella2930/pseuds/Laurabella2930
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak has been having these odd and somewhat intense dreams since she was only 8 years old. She thought she'd made him up...that she'd created this man in order to fill the hole her father had left in her heart. Now the dreams are just getting worse...and even more intense than before. Felicity Smoak is in love with the man in her dreams but he's not real so it can never be until she meets Oliver Queen.  Again I truly suck at summaries!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreams Suck

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

The revamp is almost done!!!!! I'm updating the revamped chapters with a new one coming soon.... Thank you for all your patience and enjoy!

 

**“It was Always You”**

 

**Chapter One: Dreams Suck**

 

**1842:**

_The streets were dark as the moon hid behind the clouds overhead. Escaping the castle was easy, but getting to her would still prove difficult as he moved within the shadows of the buildings up ahead. The danger of what they were doing was present in each short, but not nearly long enough, encounter as he surged forward from the darkness toward the faint light of the stables up ahead. She would be there as she always was, her fingers lightly stroking the side of his horse’s noble brow._

_He took a few more steps as the moon peaked up from behind the dark, black bank of clouds overhead; his steps faltered when he heard her usually calm, quiet voice crying out in terror. His body moved faster and faster. The muscles of his calves straining to reach her before it was too late._

_The stable torches were dark as he rushed past the normally closed doors. His breaths were broken and hard as his chest faltered and his heart suddenly broke. There before him, bathed in the lone light of the torch overhead was her crumbled, blood soaked form…_

_Her skin was pale and cool to the touch as he stumbled and fell towards the soft hay covered ground. Her once bright blue eyes were mere slits now as her breaths began to rapidly slow…_

_“You can’t leave me…You can’t…you can’t…” His voice, filed with misery, continued on as he brought his lips down to her ice cold brow. “Please, please just open your damn eyes…please…Felicity, please…”_

* * *

 

  **Present Day:**

 Felicity’s other half never mentioned having visions,but then again when they met their exchanges were usually now more about the physical and less about the mental. Their relationship over time changed as they changed from being young children who were alone and scared in the waking world to the adults their experiences had forced them to become. This one lone vision had always left her mind too shattered to sleep any further so she usually spent the remaining hours of the empty night walking back and forth across her empty room as she waited for the sun to finally once again rise. Although if Julie had her way she’d already have the man she’d fallen for wrapped tightly in her arms. 

 Dreams can be complicated. They can mean nothing or they can mean everything. Dr. Shaw had been attempting to drill this into her sleep deprived mind for the past fifteen years and for fifteen years Felicity had pretended to listen as she droned on and on about how her life was staying in neutral…She’d been preaching the whole move on, let go, go and meet someone who would make the dreams stop. Trying was useless because no matter who she met, one very startling fact remained. Eventually she’d have to sleep and eventually they’d once again meet. Dreams are complicated, but what makes them worse is when they’re more real than the waking world ever appears to be.

 The dreams would remain as she wore the haunted remnants like a badge of honor during her waking hours… each night that she closed her tired red rimmed eyes and there he’d be once more. 

 She knew the moment her eyes shut and her mind once more shifted from the conscious to the subconscious there he’d be…

 Waiting…

 As he had been every night since her horrible eighth birthday…so she once more closed her eyes and snuggled further into the white and beige colored duvet. Taking Dr. Shaw’s advice she measured each breath just as she’d been taught during their once numerous therapy sessions. So she started by counting to ten and inhaled, sucking in all the oxygen available until her lungs felt as if they were going to burst from the sheer effort. As Felicity laid flat on her back with her fingers tightly coiled in the 150 count linen sheets, she exhaled, releasing the negative thoughts while preparing to breathe in the positive. This was done until her once rapid breaths leveled out. This was done until her fingers relaxed as her body finally shifted from the awareness of being awake to the numbness of sleep. 

 Slowly she fell, as her brain finally began shutting down. Her mind shifting, as he filled her senses with his overwhelming aura. Further and further she’d fall, drifting through her once conscious mind until once again her eyes spotted him standing across from her in the sparse grey lined room…his smile was shy as he stepped forward with his bare feet and for some odd reason, always bare chest. 

“You’re late…I was getting worried.” 

 His concern always touched a part of her heart that had long since been shut down as she moved numbly through her long waking hours. Her inner mantra began to rush forward to the surface, as per usual, as he advanced towards her. “Dr. Shaw… Felicity, remember he’s just a dream…you’re not real…what…” Her head dropped as she ran her trembling hands through her mass of tangled blonde hair. “What we have is just an illusion…it’s imaginary…it’s all in my damn head…” 

 Her dream lover refused to yield as he gripped at her waist until he held her chest flush to his own. “I refused to accept that five years ago and I refuse to accept it now…why can’t you just admit that you feel more alive in your sleep then you do when you’re awake? Why can’t you just admit that you’re in love with me?”

 “I’m not in love with you…you’re a figment of my imagination…you’re someone I made up when I was eight years old because my father left…this is not real…you’re not real…” His face shifted slightly as he attempted to shift the conversation back towards the subject matter at hand. Felicity, however, was still attempting to keep her mind on anything but the man who was standing before her. The room was nothing more than black and grey walls lit by a single dingy bulb from overhead. Her mind drifted back sadly once more to the man before her…He was perfect and made to be admired. He was everything any woman could hope for and in Felicity’s case he was also everything she could never truly have. He was tall, about 6′0 or 6′1, with close cropped brownish, blonde hair. He’d changed so much since their first meeting when she’d been no more than an 8 year old child. In the beginning he was young as well, but not nearly as young as Felicity. He just appeared one night, all 5 feet of him…this tall, beanpole of a boy just one day appeared in her dreams. He’d been lonely and crying. His form was hunched over as he slowly slid to the ground, his hands covering his red and very blotchy face. 

 “I know you love me…why won’t you just admit it?” His strong calloused hands were begging to do more than just hold her, he wanted to touch her, caress her, and in the end, he wanted to love her. Felicity attempted to step back as she held her hands outward until his chest was burning through her rapidly cooling flesh. 

“Say it…say you love me…stop running from us and tell me the truth…I love you Felicity…” 

 She looked up as her fingers dug into his heavily scarred and quite muscular chest…”I can’t…you’re not real…”

“The hell I’m not…” He surged forward as he gripped her arms tightly with his strong embrace…”I L.O.V.E. Y.O.U…” Her once strong resolve was beginning to weaken as his own fingers dug into the sides of her bared and now goosebump covered arms. She could feel his breath against her lips as he moved closer and closer…those brilliant blue orbs were now fixed on her own as he began to once more draw closer, his lips beginning to descend…their bodies were now like magnets coming closer and closer until she could feel her nipples lengthen and harden beneath the thin fabric of the tank top. He brushed his chest against those tender, erected points until her moans could be heard at the back of her throat…”Say it…give me the words Felicity…” 

 His lips hovered at her ear as her heart began to pump rapidly beneath her ribcage…Panting and flushed she lifted her head up as she wrapped her arms securely around his neck… Looking up just in time to see his eyes shift from concern and slight affection to an all out fire. She smiled slightly beneath his gaze... He was burning beneath her touch. His skin felt like it was a flame and she’d been his ignition source…

 “Say it…” He growled once more into her ear before his lips moved down to her heated flesh….

“This isn’t real…you’re an illusion…” She’d kept muttering those words into the side of his face as his lips trailed down the side of her neck and up again, until all she could feel was his touch in every single nerve ending of her small petite body. 

 “SAY IT….” He hissed out once more before he lifted one hand up from the side of her exposed arm…he pulled at her hair, yanking her head backward until the full length of her neck was exposed to his eager caress. 

 “No…” Felicity was now breathless as they continued to move closer and closer together... her fingers now tangled at the waistband of his sweats…those eager fingers sought his bare, heated, and very toned flesh. 

 “Felicity…” His lips trailed roughly down her throat as his tongue darted out at random intervals…Felicity’s blood now began to boil as his hands began to travel down the length of her bared spine… “I can be real if you just let me in…say it…tell me you love me…” His hands now freely roamed beneath the cotton fabric as she pulled herself up his half naked body her legs tightened around his waist as he lowered his hands supporting her rushed movements by placing his hands tightly against the curve of her ass…

 “I…you’re…I can’t...this isn’t real…”

 “Give in…” She was so close now as their bodies continued to rub forcefully together. Each of them now yearned to feel the other as they moved within each other. She gripped down hard on his shoulders as his teeth closed over her pulse point. The bite forced her to emit a low, strangled scream.

 “I…I…I..Oliver…”

* * *

 

She awoke with a startled shout followed by a very frustrated moan. It’d been the same dream every night now for the past two months. She’d fall into an uneasy slumber until she saw his eyes from across the room. Then it would start. His low, sexy, and somewhat broody voice would beg her to let him in…to say the words that came so naturally to his perfectly formed lips. Felicity would resist, staying frozen to the ground until he was before her…gazing at her with those fire filled eyes that caused her stomach to drop and her heart to race. They would come together, her hands exploring and memorizing every single pore of his tanned skin until she felt her resolve beginning to crumble. Then with the words literally at the tip of her tongue she'd stop as her mind began to take her once again back to the waking world. 

 “These dreams are getting worse not better dammit…”  Felicity muttered softly to the darkened room as she flung herself onto her side as she reached out to touch the empty cold space beside her. Felicity trailed her fingers down the air conditioned fabric of the never before used pillow case as her legs stretched out beneath the slightly damp sheet. She pushed her face into her own pillow as she released a puff of air before once again flipping onto her back and glancing towards the bright glow of the clock beside her. The angry red numbers read 5:02 am…

She’d fallen into her fitful, if not aroused, sleep around 1am…

 Four hours this time…not only were they getting more intense but now they were getting longer. Attempting to rid her mind of the dream she stood. Her weary, sleep deprived body was still wracked from the passion she’d been so close to experiencing. She moved through the darkness of her bedroom; the cold hardwood floors kissing her bare skin as she walked to the solace of her once again very cold shower. Flipping the light on caused her to squint so shielded her eyes with her spare hand letting the suddenly light flooded room lure her into its warm, if not sterile, embrace. Felicity padded to the glass door opening it just enough to turn on the water. She let it run as she slowly stripped out of her now dampened undergarments. She mentally had to will her body to move beneath the ice cold spray. 

 Felicity closed her eyes as the water coursed down her pale skin. Her hair became matted against her face as she stood there frozen with her arms dangling loosely at her sides. The dreams weren’t always this intense... this was new….this was disturbing…because no matter how crazy it seemed he was right. She fell back against the wall as she slid down to the black shower floor. Felicity was in love with someone she’d created to protect her broken heart…She wanted him…She yearned for him…and some part of her knew he was real. Dr. Shaw had tried everything to rid her of this little problem…she’d done hypnosis, she’d given her every drug known to man and even a few that the FDA had yet to approve. She’d set her up with anyone with a pulse but still he remained. He had a hold on her that she couldn’t explain and frankly she didn’t want to. Felicity lowered her head into her hands as the water pooled around her before it found the drain in the center of the floor. 

 Felicity sighed recalling the first time she’d dreamed of the lost, scared boy…she recalled the first time she’d dreamt of Oliver…

* * *

 

_"_ _Mommy, where’s daddy? He promised he’d be home tonight to help me with my science fair entry.” I was whining but that project could get me a scholarship…that fair could win me a new computer with the advanced software. I jumped from foot to foot as she stood before me...her face was pale as she dropped the paper she’d been gripping just moments before._

_“Mommy? Mommy, what’s wrong?” I was observant for an eight year old so I usually noticed if my parents were acting a bit, well, off. She kept her back to me as her body shook_ and _I knew in that moment something was more than wrong. It was really wrong._

_“Mommy, where’s Daddy?”_

_She spent two hours crying into my Godfather’s shoulder as he kissed her hair. John Diggle was far from old but he was also far from young. He was only 23, but in that short amount of time he’d seen more pain and suffering than most people would see in fifty lifetimes. He_ came _home when I was six from a tour in Iraq. He was tall,about 6′2 or 6′3, dark skinned with kind eyes and a very well built frame. My father had taken an instant liking to him as did I so before long he was no longer our new neighbor across the hall, he was my protector, my guardian and my friend. He let me tear apart most of his electronic devices…smiling warmly as I promised I could make them ten times better than before. He(’d) helped my mother when a rather aggressive customer followed her home…he saved her when the man attempted to throw her_   _against our paper thin apartment walls. He’d been there for two years and now he was here again, but this time he was here to comfort and to fulfill the role of parent since the other was gone._

_I never got the details of the letter as she wept rather loudly…her tears soaking through his dark grey shirt. I’d gone to my room with red puffy eyes and a heart that felt like it was filled with lead. He told her he couldn’t handle it anymore…he felt trapped…he felt lost…he felt…well, frankly, I no longer even knew what he felt. All I knew was that he was gone and I was alone. My mother tried but she’d never be able to understand how my love of computers was more than just a passing phase…it was my life. My father understood, my father encouraged me and helped me while she strutted around in short tight skirts as men stared and sneered at her rather impressive form._

_My sleep was restless and troubled as I tossed and turned beneath the yellow and purple flowered comforter that she’d just bought me two weeks ago for my eighth birthday. I felt like I was falling down a long black tunnel as my stomach dropped and flipped, each second scaring me more and more as I fell further and faster down the endless hole. My throat was raw from both my fallen tears and harsh screams when my feet finally hit solid ground. I looked around with my red rimmed, tear filled blue eyes. I saw nothing but black as I surveyed the room around me. The floors were cold and maybe even grey but without my glasses the two dark colors sort of blended together so I moved slowly through the room until I was beneath_ its _one, solitary light. I squinted in the low light when I heard what I could have sworn was a low muffled cry. Being a curious soul I moved out of the light and back into the shadows searching for the sound that had captured my rather rapt attention. One step became two and then two became three as I moved further and further into the shadows of my dark and very scary dreamland._

_“Hello? Who’s out there?"_

_I heard nothing so I reached up and pushed my darkened tresses behind my ears and moved until the sound was clear and the form that it belonged to was as well._

_“Hello…can you hear me? I won’t hurt you…Where are we? Are you hurt? Are you scared?”_

_I kept speaking but the huddled mass in the corner remained silent so I moved even closer, inching towards his slouched form until I was close enough to feel the heat from his skin against my fingertips._

_“Hey, are you all right?”_

_The nearness of my voice must have startled him because his face shot up as his body went back. I jumped in response, falling to my bottom as he leaned further into the black wall._

_“Who…whooo…are you?” His voice was nervous, and tinged with fear so I stayed back not wanting to scare him any further._

_“Felicity…my name is Felicity what’s_ yours _?”_

_He looked at me for a few moments his eyes red and blurry but still bright blue just like my own. He was cute I supposed, but he was also scared and, like me, very much alone. So I waited hoping that I’d soon wake up…hoping that my strange nightmare would soon be over._

_“Oliver…I’m Oliver…do you know where we are?”_

_I shook my head as my voice trembled. “No, I was hoping you did.”_

_He smiled lightly before relaxing his posture. His arms unfolded as he relaxed his legs. I released the breath I was holding as we both sat there. Neither of us spoke, but for some reason we felt we didn’t need to._

* * *

 

 She opened her eyes as her body began to freeze so she stood up on her still weak and wobbling legs…Felicity turned the water off as she grabbed the towel to remove the cold droplets of water from her now ice cold skin. The dreams were always the same in the beginning. They’d meet in the room and they’d talk. He was older than her by about five years or so. He had a little sister and lived in a place called Starling City. She told him about her own family as he listened with rapt attention. Oliver was able to remember her words as the years passed. The relationship was innocent and sweet but as they aged so did the interactions. 

 He grew as she grew…

 He would come to her broken, bleeding, and destroyed, but he would always come to her. Sometimes they’d just stand there and stare, and sometimes they’d speak, each of them recounting other dreams…odd dreams…dreams about the two of them but not actually of them…their connection continued to grow the older they became but one thing remained the same. He was a dream…he was a place her heart and head had created to ease the gaping hole left by the sudden departure of her father. 

Felicity was still drifting through her thoughts when she looked up and saw her horrid reflection in the mirror. Her blonde hair was matted to her face…her once bright blue eyes were now dull and lifeless due to the lack of sleep which was made even more apparent by the bags that had found a permanent home beneath her now dull eyes. She ran her fingers through her hair as she looked at her lifeless pale skin. Sighing heavily again as she shut the light off she moved as her legs carried her back to the bed that was both her escape but also her prison. Flopping stomach first onto the mattress she glanced at the red demon like numbers once more; 6:02…Felicity had another hour before the house would wake…she had another hour to wonder through her unorganized thoughts…she had an hour to fix her appearance before she had to once again embrace the light of day. 

“You didn’t sleep again did you?” Felicity glanced across the table at her step-sister and scowled. 

 “No and no I don’t want to talk about it.” She nodded before looking downward into her bowel of Lucky Charms. Felicity felt bad for snapping at her so in an attempt to make it right she spoke, softening her voice as she reached her hand out across the table until her left pinkie finger was lightly brushing against Sara’s. “I’m sorry Sara…these dreams…” She sighed looking down into her own cereal bowl as she moved the spoon through the rapidly softening grains and marshmallows of the half consumed food. “Sara they’re getting worse…he’s more real to me then even you are sometimes…Sara I’m in love with a figment of my imagination and the worst part is I don’t want it to change.” 

 She looked at her sister carefully as she moved her pinkie against Felicity’s until she had their pinkies entwined with the others…she was offering the only comfort she knew her sister would accept. “Felicity you have to do what the dreams are telling you to do…is he still telling you to say it?” Felicity nodded slowly still slightly regretting ever telling her about the dreams in the first place. She in her defense had been drunk and Sara was just so damn pushy. “So just say the words to your dream lover and maybe he’ll go away…I mean LIssy what harm could it do? You’re already don’t sleep so just give in and see what happens.” 

She lowered the spoon into her own bowl of mush scooping out a large spoonful as she smiled and shoved it forcefully into her mouth. “You know it’s not that easy Sara…” 

“Yes it is.” Her words were garbled as she spoke. The little flecks of spit and milk coated her lips as her words reached home. 

“Sara, swallow then talk. And no it’s not…is dad coming home today?” She scowled at the sudden change in topic but let it drop as her spoon clanged into the empty bowl her smile returning to her lately solemn face. 

“Yes…mom finally convinced him that Laurel’s death wasn’t his fault…well that and he wasn’t going to miss his youngest daughters first day as head of the IT Department now was he?” 

“Sara stop it’s no big deal…” 

“Oh yes it is! You’re the youngest in QC history. This is a moment worth celebrating!” Scowling, Felicity stood as their joined pinkies separated; her body was moving with ease to the small sink in the home’s still rather outdated kitchen. Sara and Felicity had moved into the old townhome about a year ago…Laurel was killed by a random act of violence in the Glades and they'd been left to pick up the pieces of their shattered hearts while their parents fled to another city taking their childhood home away as they ran. They’d managed to rehab most of the home but the kitchen was still on the massive to do list. 

“Sara, it’s just a promotion which means more money and that means this damn kitchen can finally be remodeled. Now that is worth celebrating.” Sara nodded as they both turned to walk up the stairs. 

“So is he going to be there?” Felicity rolled her eyes knowing exactly who she was alluding to. Another casualty of her drunken state was also the identity of the said dream lover.

“Yes and no you can’t come. I haven’t even met him so I don’t need you saying something regrettable that might cause me to blush. So no you are going to work and Tommy is, well, hopefully going to bring himself and Ava to the ceremony.” 

“You’re no fun!” Felicity just laughed as she slammed her hand against the closed, locked black door. 

“Tommy get the hell out of bed! Ava has to be fed and both Sara and I have work so get a move on you dead beat who owes me 6 months of back rent!” Sounds could be heard from within as Sara leaned into Felicity’s shoulder, her chin was lightly resting upon her sister’s form. 

“Do you think he’ll ever rejoin the land of the living?” 

“I hope so Sara…Ava needs him and frankly so do we.” Sara sighed as Felicity rested her head upon Sara’s own. “You’re going to be late…” 

She scoffed leaning back but not before she banged her own closed fist against the doors solid frame. “Get up deadbeat! Your sister and your invisible best friend are going to be in the same place today so maybe you should rejoin the land of the living and escort her on her big day!” Felicity snickered as the door flew open. Their brother in law, now mostly awake, was standing in the doorway with his jet black hair ruffled and his still bloodshot eyes. Felicity would normally comment but lately she’d been sporting the same look. 

“Laurel was right. You two are complete nags.” Both women frowned before punching his shoulder and stomping down the narrow hall. Laurel was gone, but as they kept reminding him life had to go on. Now if only Felicity would learn to take her own wise advice. 

* * *

 

“Lissy up!” Felicity looked over at Ava's little raised arms as she kept screaming up! She was the very picture of her mother but she had her father’s hair. Felicity was getting her settled into her car seat as she kept saying the only two words that most would swear she knew. 

“No Ava, we have to go. I’ll pick you up later babydoll I promise.” She was about halfway done when she heard a sharp intake of breath coming from behind her. Turning around she saw Tommy looking pale as a sheet. His knees starting to wobble as he stared into his daughters smiling face. 

“Tommy?” 

“It’s too soon…I’m…I’m not ready…” His head fell slightly as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I’m sorry Lissy. I’m just not ready to face him…it’s just too soon…we haven’t spoken since that day.” Felicity nodded before bending down to unlock her niece from her car seat prison hoping his daughter’s presence would at least ease the wounds that still haunted his every step. 

“You both made mistakes Tommy…it doesn’t make it your fault or his for that matter.” Felicity moved away from the open door gesturing for him to hold the last remaining link to his lost love. He nodded, moving towards his unbuckled daughter but before he removed her from the car he placed his hand on his sister’s shoulder squeezing gently as his shaky voice eked out a small reply. 

“He told me that she was cheating on me…he told me that she was scared and in the Glades…he was trying to be a good friend and I ignored him. I’m just…” 

“Feeling guilty I know, but we all have to move on if not for our sake than for Ava’s.” He nodded as he released her before finally holding his daughter tightly in his arms. 

“Are you going to be ok on your own?” Felicity nodded as she went to the driver’s side of the car.

“Tommy, he’s your best friend and I love you so how bad can he be?” 

“Ollie can be, well, hard to read. And he’s been out of the country for the past five years so he can be a bit aloof.” She just shook her head as she inserted the key into the car’s ignition. 

“I’ll be fine. I mean, he’s just a man right?” Tommy snickered as he kissed his daughter’s forehead. 

“Yes he is.” 

“Then I have nothing to worry about do I?” His eyes twinkled as he reached forward tapping her nose just like Laurel had done with his index finger. 

“No Lissy Girl, you don’t.” Felicity smiled at Laurel’s nickname for her as she rolled up the window waving to them as she backed out of the gravel driveway and onto the main road. Felicity could handle this. He was one man…He was based on the tabloids...handsome and (well) perfect, but he was also cold, callous and unfeeling so any attraction she might have felt would be wiped away the moment he opened his mouth. Felicity smiled to herself as she drove towards her second home…today was the day…

Today was the day. Today she was finally going to meet the all powerful Oliver Queen.

Today Felicity was going to have her first real interaction with the boy who’d become a man within her dreams.  


	2. Every Story has another side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changing the story slightly I'm adding in Oliver's pov along with Felicity's. I'm also slightly changing the current story by editing the current chapters that have already been posted. This is Oliver's pov of the soon to be first meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

**Chapter Two: Every Story has another side**

 Light...

Light had been his enemy for far longer than he cared to recall. Light meant that another day had dawned, another night had passed, and once again she was gone. Every night since his parents death, there she’d been. At first he’d thought she was nothing more than a mirage or a trick his grief stricken mind had played to distract him from his own pain. The first year was simple; she’d been there to talk to him, just sitting beneath that lone lamp. She’d been this bright, kind, sweet, simple soul that was willing to listen whenever he’d even bothered to speak.

His nightmares were growing progressively worse with each passing day. Every night as his eyes began to slide shut, he knew that in moments he’d either be in her arms or trapped in a world where she didn’t exist. Tonight ,he’d found her arms.

Tonight, he’d found his home; but when his eyes opened and his arms reached for her his heart once again broke.

Knowing that sleep would once again prove to be as elusive as the multitude of nights before, he sighed as he forced his weary body forward. The light had not yet crested over the still, darkened skies so he knew the house would still be as silent as the dead. Relishing the solitude that these hours often brought, he opened the door and began to pad carefully along the hardwood floors. The floor was cold, but soothing, against the bare skin of his feet as he slowly walked down the long, darkened hallway. Each door he passed served as a cold and empty reminder of how much he’d lost in just this past year.

His heart clenched as he rounded the corner and glanced upon the lightly painted red door. That door was supposed to serve as a beacon of hope in his often darkened world. That door was supposed to be open as she slept soundly within. That door was the only reminder he’d dared to keep. Everything else had been destroyed. His sister’s life was often a mystery to him, but her death, sadly, was not.

Thea had remained in Starling after their parents had died. She lived her life with kind glances and a peaceful setting. Thea had what he often felt he was beginning to have, even if it was only in his fleeting dreams.

After his trainer, and often tormentor, had been disposed of, he’d made arrangements for his sister to travel to Russia. He’d only seen her a handful of times since that awful day. His training and rapid ascent to his predecessors throne had made finding time to spend with his naive sister rather difficult since he was often covered in cuts with the purple, yellowish skin to match. The last thing Oliver had wanted for her was to see her once strong, big brother now as nothing more than a punching bag for his legal guardian. No, Thea was safe in the care of two very loving people. She was happy and well cared for while he suffered at a murderer’s hand.

The tables had finally turned and now he was in a position to finally make their small family whole once again. Oliver had arranged for everything; she was going to leave Starling on a private jet and she’d arrive at what was now his own private airfield. Hours...that’s all that had separated them from each other...

Apparently those hours had been still too long. He’d been pacing back and forth in what was to be Thea's bedroom while Magdalia had finished preparing her bed. His nerves had been raw, but excited, as the hands on the antique clock in her room slowly ticked away.

“Mr. Queen, if you don’t stop pacing you’ll wear a hole in the floor.” Her voice had been thick with her accent as she moved her hands rapidly over the flawless silk sheets.

Oliver had stopped in mid-stride signaling that he’d heard her words as his eyes shifted from nervous to amused in a few short seconds. “Mags, what if she hates it here? What if she doesn’t want to be a family anymore? What if I’ve changed far more than she can handle? Mags, what if I can’t care for her?”

The questions had been running wildly through his troubled mind as he made the final arrangements for her flight here today.

Magdalia was a kind, middle aged woman with light grey streaks amongst her once very bright blonde hair. She’d been a semi permanent fixture in his life since he’d been brought here at the tender young age of 12. His parents death had been fairly fresh in his mind and in his heart when he’d stepped through the silent echoing halls. His feet had scraped and sloshed against the floors as he’d been pulled toward the black solid oak doors. Mags had been standing before them with her short, thick arms braced in front of her slightly puffed middle. Her green eyes had shown him kindness and warmth when everyone else around him had shown him nothing but pain. She’d been an angel in white who he suspected often checked him as he wailed and screamed through all hours of the seemingly endless nights.

“Oliver, it will be fine. Your sister will see the kind man behind that steely blue stare.” He’d smiled as she lightly patted his shoulder and left the perfectly decorated room.

Oliver was about to leave for the airstrip when he felt his phone vibrate in his right pants pocket. He reached down and when he saw the number his heart immediately froze. With another heavy sigh, his head lowered, as he moved rather quickly past the room’s sealed door. Thea had died from a drug overdose just mere hours before 7am that very same day. According to the various medical officials that he spent hours speaking to his sister had been in this type of trouble for quite some time so to them her death came as no surprise.

Oliver, however, had felt the world fall from beneath his feet. That night as he locked the room he’d felt broken and destroyed. He wanted someone to erase the pain of that day.  He wanted to feel something for someone who, despite who he was, felt something for him as well. Oliver’s eyes had closed and moments later his skin was tightly pressed against her own.

* * *

 

His smile was soft, but visible, as he rounded the corner and found, to his utter surprise, that the kitchen light was casting a shadow of bright neon on the tables below.

“Oliver?” He glanced up to see his friend and now almost constant companion John Diggle sitting at the lower kitchen counter staring at him with wide eyed amusement.

“John? What are you doing up at this hour? Our plane won’t be leaving the tarmac for another... four hours.” John’s eyes lowered to the steaming cup of coffee before him as Oliver walked towards the still half full coffee pot; his nose wrinkled when he smelled the rather distinctive blend. “John, really? What is it with you and the hazelnut garbage that Raisa keeps making me purchase at least once a month?”

His own nose wrinkled as his lips came to gently rest over the rim of the dark blue ceramic cup. “She threw out our usual blend so it’s either this or nothing.”

Oliver sighed heavily once more as he poured the putrid blend into his own dark blue cup. Raisa was punishing them for this little jaunt to Starling City and this was part of her silent revenge.

“She’s upset over our travel plans, Digg, you do know that right?” John’s lips curved as he choked down another awful sip, his eyes giving away his answer before his mouth had a chance to form a reply.

Oliver’s lips trembled slightly with each thought as he lowered his guard and spoke freely from the heart. “Am I doing the right thing? I mean what if she still fights this? What if she still doesn’t believe in me? What if she’s not willing to take the risk?” Those questions had Oliver doubting everything over the past few days. The plan was simple. She’d just been appointed to the head of the IT Department for his father’s, now his, company back in the States. She’d be there...she’d be flesh and blood as they both finally came face to face.

All he’d have to do was take her perfectly shaped hand as she reached forward to shake his own. He knew that once that spark ignited, as it always did whenever their bodies touched, she’d feel for perhaps the first time that it was all real.

His beautiful, bright, beacon of hope would finally see what he’d known for quite some time.

His Felicity would finally know that what they had was real.

“Oliver, she’ll resist, you already know this.” Digg’s form was hunched over the edge of the black and white marble as his next phrase aimed for home. “Just be smart. She’ll be timid and afraid so remember what I told you. Let her come to you Oliver, let her make the tentative first move and then you can, you know, do whatever it is that you two do in those shared dreams of yours.”

Oliver’s face paled as Digg finished his final phrase. “John, what if it’s not enough? What if  _I’m_  not enough?” His voice was tight and hard as he leaned back, the cold of the marble hit gently against his lower back.

“Felicity loves you, Oliver, even though the entire world has told her not to. She won’t abandon you. Just give her the time and the space if she asks for it.” His words banged about in Oliver’s head for a few more moments before he leaned forward and dumped out the rest of his undrinkable coffee. Then he thanked the man for his as usual fairly good advice with a slight nod.

“I know she loves me Digg...I just have to get her to realize that perhaps we’ve loved each other all along...” His eyes were appraising as his lips slid into yet another easy smile.

“Oliver, you’re a sap you know that right?”

Oliver’s eyes crinkled as he moved forward, his hand reaching up to pat his friend’s shoulder as he walked by. “Only when it comes to her...Only when it comes to Felicity does that statement apply.”

With that Oliver left his friend alone in the now sunlit room. Oliver didn’t see it but the moment he left the kitchen Digg’s mouth moved.

“Don’t give up on her Oliver...don’t stop fighting for what’s right.” Had he heard the sentiment his answer would have been a simple but clear.

Never.

Oliver would never give up on Felicity.

They traveled in relative silence towards the private airstrip each of them was lost in their own personal thoughts. Oliver’s mind once again went back to her.

His mind always came back to his shared time with Felicity....

* * *

 

_“Felicity why do you keep fighting what’s between us?” His fingers were trailing up and down her slim naked form as she curled her fingers in his close cropped hair._

_Her sigh was small but the puff of air she’d released still chilled Oliver’s dampened skin. “Oliver, you’re some rich tycoon with a horrible story in the real world while I’m just the daughter of a cocktail waitress and a once influential cop.” She tilted her head so her nose rested at the crook of his neck while his lips came down to press gently against her forehead. “Oliver, I know that you don’t understand this but I remember you when we leave this place...”_

_He was about to interrupt but her fingers had fallen down to his parted lips. “I know what I feel for you is real Oliver and frankly it scares me...when I’m with you all I want is you...when I’m awake all I want to do is sleep so that once again I’ll be with you. So yes it scares me that maybe I’m the only one who can recall this place during my waking hours...it scares me that maybe you can’t remember me when your mind is once again in control...”_

_Oliver knew she was scared because he was too. He’d felt the same way she did each and every time they’d both been forced to leave the other. His heart would slowly break into a thousand pieces as his mind tore him away from her very loving embrace. Felicity had become his heart and soul. Felicity had become his gravity and he’d be damned if he was going to lose another person he loved._

_“Felicity just tell me how you feel...tell me that you love me baby...tell me that what we have is real.” It was the same plea each time they’d come together. His voice would start off soft and calm as she began her usual "I can’t you’re not real speech". As her reluctance grew, his voice would grow stronger...he’d become more desperate as he felt her beginning to pull away. Each time it was the same routine and each time as the words were about to fall from her parted, flushed lips the dream would end._

_The dreams always ended before Oliver had heard her truth._

* * *

 

His attention was brought back to the present as he felt the plane shift beneath him. John was by his side with his eyes partially closed... each of them was secretly dreading the trip home. Now John was going to face the consequences of his choices over two years ago. He was going to face the girl he’d once known in the woman who would come to stand before him. John was going to face Felicity’s unfiltered response once Oliver had given her the full story.

Oliver was going to give her the full story and this time they’d be face to face.

This time they’d be in the same room, at the same time, with their eyes for once, wide open.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did I do? Let me know what ya think by hitting the comment button below! 
> 
> Come say hi! I'm on Tumblr @laurabelle2930


	3. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Impressions retooled so some different information here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

**Chapter 3: First Impressions**

 

The drive to QC normally took all of fifteen minutes but because today the reigning king of the empire was actually going to be in the building the traffic was heavier than usual. Felicity sighed as she ran her fingers through her fairly disheveled low ponytail. She had been doing this for what seemed like hours as the lights once again changed from green to yellow and then back again to red. The traffic was backed up all the way around the block since the front of QC was blocked off in preparation for the Queen heir’s arrival. She glanced towards the small but rather angry looking clock as the numbers changed from 45 to 46. The small 8 glared at her as if she needed the reminder that in less than 15 minutes she’d be late to her own promotion. 

Felicity’s fingers reached to touch the button on the steering wheel with the phone icon knowing that if someone didn’t alert him soon more than half the building would be empty. Felicity looked down the street noting that now both of the parking garage entrances were completely blocked. Speaking as clearly as humanly possible she said his name knowing that he could make her tardy arrival a thing of the past. 

“Walter Steele.” The phone dialed his number and within seconds his kind British accent filled the compartment of her compact vehicle. 

“Ms. Smoak…why are you calling me?” Felicity cringed slightly but powered through the embarrassment of being late to the party being thrown in her honor…her face turning redder as the words flowed forth in an uncoordinated babble. 

“Hi um…” She took a deep breath and then spewed what would later be recalled as verbal vomit. 

“well…oktrafficisjammedbecauseofthebaricadethatwassetupforOliverQueenandIalongwithmostoftheemployeescantgetthrough.” 

Felicity exhaled and inhaled deeply as the realization that she hadn’t taken a single breath during that entire rather long run on sentence dawned on her. “You got none of that did you?” 

“No, but I did just look out the window to see the parking garage is blocked so I’ve sent a security team down to clear the entrances….How did I do?”  She smiled despite her rising mortification as she took another deep breath before once more responding. 

“Great…you’re spending too much time with me.” He chuckled on the other end as the traffic ahead finally began to move. 

“I’ll see you soon Felicity.” 

Felicity whispered quietly in response, “Bye Walter.” As the line went dead she took her foot off the brake and was  finally able to inch the car towards the up until now illusive parking garage. 

* * *

 

Felicity padded quickly through the still fairly empty hallways as she attempted to keep her head down. She was halfway to the elevator when she heard the various voices of the gossip mill speculating on what really got their never before seen boss to finally emerge from his hole. As she waited for the elevator to arrive she couldn’t help but hear some of the theories that had been circulating through the office for the past week. 

“He has to be sleeping with her…”

“I heard he was trapped on some island for five years with no form of human contact…he’s like Tom Hanks in…oh Tara what’s the name of that movie?” 

“Castaway…”

“Right. That’s it. He’s Tom Hanks from “Castaway” and now he’s afraid to connect to any living or breathing person so he stays locked up in that big old drafty mansion…”

“Didn’t his parents die or something like that? I mean I think I read something along those lines in some rag about what…”

Felicity found the urge to bite the inside of her cheek hard to resist as she fought her own internal war to keep from laughing out loud at the stupidity of the somewhat petty comments that the women continued to make. She was almost at her wits end when she heard a strong, deep, and to her utter shock, a strikingly familiar voice answering their various questions. 

“15 years…my parents were killed in a car accident 15 years ago. My younger sister Thea died two years ago from a drug overdose. Anymore questions I could answer for you ladies?” Felicity fought to keep her head pointed down as the women behind her sucked in their collective hot air and suddenly became rather silent. She now bounced on the back of her heels as he spoke once more, his voice causing her to abandon all rational thought as her eyes slid shut  The visions were crisp and clear as she began to visualize…as she began to do what she normally never dared to do…

With her eyes blissfully closed she was able to see him…Her Oliver, and for a split second Felicity could have sworn that she could almost feel the soft caress of his touch as he gently uttered her name. 

“I take it by your collective silence that I’ve properly addressed your various inquires?” With her eyes still closed she held back a small snicker as one of the gossip mongers…Jill she silently suspected, began to speak. Felicity’s fingers were wound tightly around the others as their personal spokeswoman began to slightly jabber. 

“Mr. Queen I’m so sorry…we honestly didn’t mean any harm…” Jill’s voice sounded rattled and off key as she attempted to diffuse the situation before her.

Oliver’s voice was calm and steady just as it had always been in her very vivid dreams. “Then next time pay attention to whose milling about the building please.” 

“Of course…ladies let’s go.” Jill’s voice faltered as the sharp click and clack of their combined shoes could be heard as they practically ran down the marble floored hallways. Felicity remained frozen in place as the elevator finally dinged, signaling that her lone escape route had finally arrived…Or so she’d thought…

“Hold the elevator please…” 

Of course he was going up…he was supposed to be meeting her after all, so with her back still turned towards him and her face still pointed directly down she stepped into the elevator only turning to press the buttons for the 18th and 40th floors. Her fingers were shaking as she wrapped them together. Her mind was playing with her sense of reality as he spoke, but this time his voice was closer…softer…and oh, so  familiar…

“Thank you…” His voice was soft and pleasant yet she’d heard the pause at the end of his statement. Felicity remained silent due to the fear of what horrid phrase might escape from her traitorous mouth. So she dug through her purse until she felt the small bent corners of the lone business card that she’d buried at the bottom of it. Pulling it out she shoved her hand out sideways hoping he’d take the card so that no words would have to be exchanged. Felicity could feel her hand shaking as her brow broke into a cold sweat. The sensations from this moment were almost too much for her sleep deprived mind to handle. 

She was moments away from passing out from a panic attack…until she felt his fingers lightly touch the underside of her elbow.

“Hey are you ok? You’re…you’re shaking. Do I need to find you a doctor?” His voice was as soft and concerned as it always been in the dreams which caused her to shake even harder. The shakes began to envelop her body until she felt her knees were about to give out. Slowly, hoping to avoid any further injury, she began to slump forward as she felt the rest of her body slinking down to the ground. 

“Hey…hey it’s alright…you’re alright just take a deep breath…” His voice was soft but demanding as her body refused to respond. Her body was on the ground as her fingers became tangled in her hair. Felicity just kept breathing rapidly and heavily as she rocked herself back and forth. Each movement causing her back to hit the elevator wall. She was sure nothing could stop what she was feeling but Felicity was about to be proven wrong… because the moment he said it her entire world suddenly slowed way, way down…

“Felicity please just breathe for me…Felicity please…” The last thing she felt was the touch of his hands against her shoulders as her world went very, very dark.” 

* * *

 

“Is she alright?” 

“I hope so otherwise she’s going to have one hell of a day once she regains consciousness.” 

Felicity felt the pain of her headache as it slowly began to form between her eyes. Lifting her fingers to the bridge of her nose she squeezed gently and let out a huff of exasperated air from her now fully functioning lungs. She was lying down but wasn’t entirely sure on what…she'd expected to feel something cool or even scratchy against the back of her neck but all she felt was warmth, cotton and something that wasn’t soft but hard, well toned and, she suspected something that was also well worked when it came to exercise. 

“What happened to me?” Felicity asked the question as her voice cracked and creaked; her eyes opening very slowly as her vision remained blurred to the scene before her. 

“You sort of blacked out sweetie.” Felicity knew that voice. That voice had been a constant in her life since she was nine years old so as her lips formed a timid smile she responded without moving her head. 

 “Dad really sweetie…how bad was it? You only call me that when I’ve really humiliated myself.” 

As she'd expected she was correct.

“Well you sort of blacked out in front of your boss so yeah I thought I’d use an endearment that would alert you to the possible humiliation of the situation at hand.” Felicity cursed silently as her eyes once again slid shut. Her fingers were still braced at the bridge of her nose. 

Still wondering who the other voice belonged to she made what perhaps was her third biggest mistake of the day  and vocalized her still unspoken fear. “Mr. Queen. I presume you’re the leg that my head is currently resting on?” 

“You can call me Oliver, but yes,that would be correct Ms….”

“Felicity.  You can call me Felicity. Dad? Would you please help me sit up? I’m sure Oliver would appreciate being able to have full use of his leg once again.”

Felicity heard the sound of her father's chuckle but what actually made her heart stutter was when she felt Oliver’s fingers lightly push a stray strand of hair away from her forehead before he whispered a phrase that if her eyes had been open, it would have made them shut once more. 

“You can use me as a pillow whenever you'd like…”

 Before her mind could come up with a retort or even just a small huh, she felt her father’s hands braced on either side of her pulling her forward until he had her face pressed snugly into his welcoming chest. Felicity smiled into the soft cotton of his shirt as he rubbed her back soothingly telling Oliver that he wanted a few moments alone with his daughter. Once she heard the door click closed he pulled her back and his voice shifted from soft and calm to hard and demanding. 

“Felicity, you know how I feel about that boy…he’s trouble... I mean look what his friendship with Tommy and…” His voice froze as her name died on his lips. 

“Dad, Laurel and Tommy weren’t Oliver’s fault. He wasn’t even around when she died…” Felicity sighed as she leaned forward once more, her body suddenly felt drained from the conversation that they'd yet to have.

“Also, he doesn’t deserve to be judged for his past…no one does.” The last part was whispered but his body tightening beneath her told her he’d heard it none the less. 

“Fair point. Well made as ever Lissy-Girl.” 

Felicity smiled and leaned back as she used her fingers to lightly touch the side of his still slightly gaunt face. “Where’s mom?” Felicity asked almost timidly. 

Quentin's response was small and equally as timid. “At the hotel…we’re going home this evening and we’re taking Tommy and Ava with us.”

“You don’t have to do that Dad…” Felicity could feel the unsaid words hanging between them like a knife that was just begging to fall. 

“Yes we do…I fell apart when Laurel died…we sold your home and forced you to come here all the way from Boston just so you could take care of the family she’d left behind.” 

 Once again Felicity sighed heavily, dropping her hand and using what little strength she'd regained to stand and walk gingerly to the back of the office in search of a chair in order to keep their bodies separated. 

“I took the job before she died Dad. Sara and I had already made the down payment on the townhome we were moving into to be closer to our sister so it’s not like I made a huge sacrifice…” 

“Then why does it feel like you did?” Felicity glanced towards him, her eyes taking in the details of his still worn appearance. Quentin was still thin but his skin was brighter than before. His eyes were no longer dull and lifeless. No.  Now they were angry and resentful and his body was rigid. 

Felicity spoke once more before he could be given the chance to say that he didn't want to fight. She knew her words (she knew) would continue to hit home. “Because you and mom lost your minds and left Sara and I to clean up the mess.” 

“I don’t want to fight sweetie…”

Sighing heavily as she often did Felicity replied, “Fine. So does Tommy know?” 

He nodded as he leaned his weary frame against the dark wooden table. “Yes. He and Ava are with Donna right now. You’ll have to tell Sara when you get home.” 

“Fine…” Looking down at her hands she found that she once more had them clenched into tight fists on either side of her body. “Well I have a presentation to get to…” 

“Are you ever going to forgive me for what happened? It was a year ago. Why can’t you just understand that I was in a state of immense grief?” 

At that Felicity looked up and stood. His expression was somber but his voice was still hard as ice. Utilizing the voice she'd grown accustomed to using whenever in his presence, she spoke the same words that she'd said the night before he went to rehab. 

“I’ll forgive you when you realize that her death wasn’t my fault.” 

With that Felicity walked out of the room and straight into the massive chest of one Oliver Queen.

* * *

 

 He was as hard as solid granite as she plowed straight into him…Felicity would have stumbled backwards had it not been for his grasp on her upper arms. “Hey, let’s not go for round two shall we?” 

Felicity looked up, and in that moment her heart froze mid beat. Suddenly, her blackout made perfect sense…

His voice, his touch, his face...but now she'd fully felt his body…the same body that had been pressed against her for the past five years in her vivid dreams. She'd blacked out because standing before her was her Oliver….

Standing before her was the man who'd begged her to say "I love you" just mere hours before…. Felicity hoped she was going insane because that would make this easier…No...she'd known who her dream man was…she'd known that he was Oliver Queen but what she hadn't expected was the look in his eyes when he'd dared to glance upon her. 

Pushing her nerves aside she attempted a small smile as she timidly began to string a few simple words together. Her heart once again began to beat like a steel drum. “Thank you…” She swallowed hard as she tried to escape from his solid embrace. 

“You don’t like me much do you?” Felicity huffed before retorting…

“I don’t know you so how can I dislike you?” Felicity knew she was playing with fire but still that didn't stop her from attempting to remove herself from his touch; his grip, however, was firm and his strength was impressive.

“Then why are you trying so hard to escape my touch?” 

At that, Felicity openly gaped at him as the impact of his question surged through her brain. “I’m just trying to reach the conference room that’s all.” Her voice was strangled but her intent she felt was clear.

“Well my placing my hand at the small of your back won’t hinder that process now will it?” He was pushing her but for what she was still unsure. So Felicity pushed back hoping that his answer would put her unspoken fears to rest. 

“Why do you need to touch me at all?” 

His lips slightly upturned at that as if he’d sensed what she'd been attempting to do so he tightened his hold on her arms; his thumbs were softly rubbing over her silk blouse in small concentric motions as he replied. “What if I told you I felt drawn to you?” 

Felicity's breath caught in her throat as her lips curved to form a small reply. “I’d say you were full of crap…so if you don’t mind…” 

He released her as he stepped out of her way holding his arms out before he gave her a clipped reply. “Lead the way Ms. Smoak.” 

Sensing his rather bruised ego she smirked before strutting slightly past him as she gave him her own equally curt response. “My pleasure Mr. Queen.”

After that the day had gone by quickly but her mind kept wandering back to their earlier exchange….

He’d pushed back… he’d kept them in direct contact…his eyes... that's what kept haunting her as she moved the pen back and forth between her lips. Her Oliver...it was him...but how? Her Oliver had been nothing more than a dream...a fabricated vision for some lost and damaged little girl. Oliver Queen was an easy target. She'd seen him in the rags and she'd heard the sob story of his tragic youth through her media savvy mother. So the question remained...was this man really her Oliver? Was this more than some relationship she'd made up in her very imaginative brain. Felicity sighed as the questions kept banging around her in brain...she was going insane...that’s all there was to it. The stress of Laurel’s death had finally won…Felicity had finally lost her damn mind. Felicity couldn't recall when she drifted to sleep but what happened once she did would haunt her for days to come…

* * *

 

_“This makes no sense...why is he doing this? Oliver, why do we keep losing each other?”_

_He was on the opposite side of the room shoving our limited clothing into the small knapsack that he’d been carrying on the day we’d first met. “He’s doing what he’s done each time baby…he won’t stop until he’s won…he won’t stop until we’re separated for good.”_

_“It’s not fair…”_

_“Felicity…”_

_“No Oliver I can’t do this again. I can’t lose you again. I’ve lost you too many times before I won’t survive it again…I can’t…”_

_He dropped my sweater as his back shifted upwards; his body turned until he was fully facing me. “I love you. Do you love me?”_

_I glared at him. My response was quick and clear. “Yes of course I do. Why would you even ask such a question?”_

_He sighed before walking towards me. “Because each time we’ve found each other we’ve always been torn apart. Felicity, if you don’t love me then tell me now…If you don’t want me tell me now before we once again are forced to suffer this horrible fate.”_

_“Oliver I love you…I’m in love with you just like I have been for lifetimes now…I just…” His hands were cradling my face as my tears coated his warm skin._

_“Hate this.” I nodded against his embrace as he lowered his lips to my forehead. “I do too baby…I do too.”_

_“Will we ever be together?” I felt his body shuddering beneath my touch as my arms banded tightly around his waist._

_“Yes because I refuse to live in a world where I don’t love you…”_

_“I love you Oliver…I love you with all my heart…” I whispered the words against his lips as the walls around us suddenly split and cracked, the floors rattled violently as we clung to  eachother…_

_“Are you ready?”_

_“No…” Before he could answer back I pressed our lips fully together as I wrapped my arms even tighter around his body hoping to fill our last moments with love instead of sadness…suddenly we were torn apart as the floor gave out beneath our feet._

* * *

 

Felicity awoke with a start…

She glanced around the room making sure that she was still safe in her office with no shaking walls anywhere in sight. 

The dreams were getting worse because now instead of finding her imaginary lover she was remembering what appeared to be past lives with him. Without pausing Felicity pressed the 3rd speed dial and waited for the person on the other end to respond. 

“Hello Dr. Shaw…Yes, I have a problem…the dreams...the ones that I told you about…well I just had another one…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always fee free to say hi to me on Tumblr @Laurabelle2930


	4. Get To Know Me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More backstory about their relationship via the dreams is revealed as is the mystery of whether or not Oliver knows or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters. 
> 
>  
> 
> I've been overwhelmed by all the wonderful feedback I've received! Thank you so much for all the kind and amazing words!

 

**Chapter 3: Get to know me...**

 

Felicity’s fingers were wrapped tightly around the cord of the phone as she nervously began to chew on her lower lip. She could feel the change like she’d felt it all those years ago; something in her had once again begun to shift and alter in order to match him.

As usual her heart and mind were waging a war within her as the phone’s dull dial tone kept sounding evenly against her ear. Denying Oliver was easier when he was just a “figment” of her imagination. Denying him what he wanted from her was simple because he’d never be anything more than a pleasant, if not perfect, dream. Now he was here and she once more felt her footing vanishing beneath her.

It was easier to believe what she knew deep down was a lie…now she’d felt his touch. Now Felicity had seen him…she’d been near him…now she knew what he felt like beneath her fingertips…Her mind could create quite a bit, but the reality of what Oliver was made her heart rate rapidly increase.

No. It had been easier, but for once in fifteen years Felicity didn’t long for easier…now all she longed for was him…

Felicity’s mind once again began to wander as the visions of their shared journey began to flood rapidly through her mind.

* * *

 

**15 Years Ago...**

_He’d been gone for three days..._

_My mother had been sitting in our small, cramped family room for three days while John held her sob racked form. He’d said every comforting word known to man despite the fact that nothing he said had any real effect. I, on the other hand, was having the opposite problem..._

_I hadn’t shed one single tear..._

_I hadn’t said one hateful word..._

_I hadn’t even gone to my mother when I heard her crying long after the moon had risen in the night sky. I hadn’t done anything but lay here in my tiny compact room wishing for nightfall so that I could see his face once again._

_For the past three nights I’d gone to sleep and there he’d be, all 5 feet of him, as he stayed crouched in a ball on the opposite side of the black and grey room. I’d approach slowly as if moving towards a scared animal until his face once again found my own. His eyes were always the same...haunted...bloodshot...and scared. We’d said nothing of what haunted our waking hours; instead we just sat there with him leaning against the wall while I remained beneath the rooms lone light. I’d make some random comment about his appearance while he would occasionally look up, his cold distant eyes taking me in, but his lips would always remain silent._

_All that changed on day four..._

_“How’s she doing Donna?” I heard the clanging of the plates as she rinsed them before putting them in the dishwasher that was magically working this week._

_“She’d have to talk to me in order for me to answer your question. She’s...” I heard her sigh loudly before shutting of the water. I assumed she'd be leaning forward with her hands braced on either side of the small kitchen sink. “She’s Felicity John...she’s my strong, stubborn, bright and entirely too independent for her own good daughter. If she’s feeling anything I’d be the last to know.”_

_“Did he send you the papers?” My heart thudded loudly in my chest...even I at 8 years of age knew what that particular phrase meant._

_“No...I’ll see those soon I’m sure, but right now he’s too busy finding himself to bother letting me and our daughter move on.”_

_“When are you going to tell Felicity?”_

_I froze in place as I kept my ear pressed to the flimsy kitchen door. “If I know my baby girl she’s already well aware...”_

_With that I walked away before the only two people I had left moved any closer to my hiding spot._

_I snuggled deep beneath my sheets and comforter set and I shifted so my body was positioned towards my bedroom window. With the light of the pale moon providing me with nature’s nightlight, I closed my weary worn (and weary) eyes and hoped that my mystery friend would be waiting in my dreams for me._

_I fell as usual, tumbling farther and farther until my bare feet touched down upon the cold grey cement floors. After shivering from the sensations of free falling, I padded slowly into the open space of the black walled room. I was about halfway to my position beneath the dim bulb when I heard my lost boy’s voice._

_“Hey..you’re late...I was getting worried...”_

_It was small, soft, and barely above a tight, strangled whisper, but for the second time in four days he spoke._

_“I had trouble falling asleep...I’m having some problems at home.” I continued to the rooms lit center and just as I had for the past four days I sat down with my legs folded beneath me. His eyes, as usual, were trained on me like a lion watching it’s prey. Nervous beneath his gaze I looked down using my hair as a shield to cover my now reddened face._

_“Felicity?” I tilted my face upwards but kept my shield in place as I whispered my faint reply._

_“Yes?”_

_He looked at me for a few long moments as if he was still attempting to decide if he was ready to indulge in whatever fantasy we might both be sharing. I saw his fingers pressing down into his small pale forearms, his nails blanched from the effort. I felt that he was trying to decide and I felt that perhaps he might be leaning towards the path that so far he’d chosen not to take._

_“Would you tell me about it?” His voice was still small and weak but his intent was clear. He was reaching out so in an attempt to also feel less alone I decided to do the same._

_“Only if you tell me what’s been haunting you as well...” I inhaled before adding...” Deal?”_

_His mouth for the first time in four days curved upwards into a small, soft smile. “Deal.”_

_Thus began our strange but oddly comforting relationship._

* * *

 

**13 Years ago...**

_“So what she’s just gone and married some complete stranger and they expect you to give up everything for their happiness?” I nudged his shoulder with my own as I put my head lightly against his for once clothed shoulder._

_“Oliver, she’s happy with him and really why should I care where they move us to...it’s not like you and I can’t see each other anymore.”_

_He laughed fully as he rested his own head against my own. “True, but still, Boston? Felicity they have winter there you know, with actual snow. Your thin desert blood won’t survive one day let alone one month.”_

_I chuckled as I snuggled into his side. My fingers inched closer to his own as he shifted bringing an arm to rest lightly against my waist.”How do you know about the cold?”_

_“Starling got cold, but where I’m living now it gets even colder...” His voice trailed off indicating that I’d once again gotten too close to yet another hidden nerve._

_“It’s been two years Oliver. When are you going to tell me how they died? His chest heaved with his silent thoughts but being true to the pact that we’d formed almost two years ago he spoke, letting me see yet another facet of his scarred and forever damaged heart._

_“Sometimes I forget you’re only ten.” I scoffed as I hid my face within the creases of his grey tee shirt._

_“Yeah well sometimes I forget you’re 15 and like my older brother so I guess we’re even.” He sighed as I poked his sides with my free fingers. My earlier question still had been left unanswered. “Start talking lost boy who’s last name I still don’t get to know. I deserve an answer since you have all of mine.”_

_“Fine...You’re pushy Felicity, very, very pushy.” He kissed my hair lightly before hugging me closer to his side._

_“I’ve told you about my other little sister haven’t I?” I nodded against his chest before replying._

_“Yup you told me about her about a week after we met and since I’m like your other sister don’t you think you should actually answer my original question?”_

_I could feel him smile against my forehead as he finally gave in to my earlier demand._

_“They were driving home from some social event...where I come from we’re quite wealthy so these events were fairly common during my childhood. Anyways, they’d taken a wrong turn at some point and they veered into a rather bad part of town.” His voice was becoming hard as his hold on me tightened._

_“Oliver you don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to...”_

_I felt his slight nod as he once again continued to speak. “They were mugged and then shot by what the police termed random gang violence. You know I wouldn’t have gotten through the first year without you...”_

_“Me neither...this is really bizarre you know that don’t you? I mean my mother’s sending me to Dr. Shaw three times a week now...”_

_He pulled me back so he could once again see my face. “Why? I thought you’d managed to convince her you weren’t seeing me anymore?”_

_I sighed leaning back against the wall as his arm fell from my waist. “I did. She's not worried about you and I in this reality. No, she’s worried about the other dreams. The ones that take place in different times where we’re both older and usually moments away from death. Those have her quite concerned.”_

_“How often are they occurring?” His voice was soft but also hard, his concern was evident as was his frustration at not knowing sooner._

_“Usually about an hour after I leave you and sometimes right before I find my way here. How about you? Are you still seeing us die but in various and often horrible ways?”_

_He nodded as he too leaned back against the black wall, his hand was now tangled within my own. “Yes, but I unlike you don’t have a mother who hears me screaming at all hours of the night. My guardians don’t care if I live or die as you well know.”_

_“How long are you going to be in Russia for?” After his parent’s died Oliver was sent to Russia to live with what the lawyers had termed “close family friends” but in reality he’d been sent to learn the more nefarious side of the family business._

_“Until my 18th birthday then they’ll finally let me go home...or at the very least they’ll finally let me see Thea but only if I can complete my assigned kill.” I shuddered as I increased the pressure against his hand._

_“That’s barbaric by the way.”_

_He smiled as his head came downward...”I know but with my father gone they’ll have to prepare me to take over in his stead. Felicity I wish this was real...I wish...”_

_“I know I wish for it too...You’re my best friend you know that?”_

_He released my hand as he once again brought me closer into his side. “Yeah because you’re mine too.” I smiled as he pressed another light kiss to my hair. He might not be real but he gave me what the waking world couldn’t provide. He gave me the feeling of home._

* * *

 

**_10 years ago..._ **

_“Felicity come on you were screaming in agony...Lissy that’s not nothing so please just talk to me...” I looked over at Sara’s reflection in the mirror. She was concerned and frankly she had a right to be. Last night was bad even for me. Oliver...._

_He’d been in so much pain..._

_He’d been so lost and confused...._

_But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that he’d reached his 18th birthday last night and he’d mostly likely made his first kill...._

_Because last night was for the first time in 5 years he didn’t come to me...for the first time in 5 years I was alone in our shared haven. So what had me screaming and alarming my slightly older sister?_

_I’d seen yet another vision of what I now assumed were my past lives...he was lying on the ground with a knife through his chest...blood was pooling around his grey ashen skin as I screamed from beside him._

_“Sara it’s nothing...don’t worry about it...that’s what Dr. Shaw and her affiliates are for.” My response was cold and callous but I didn’t have it in me to care. Oliver was in trouble. I could feel it, but sadly, I was in no condition to do anything about it. No. All I could do was sit and wait hoping that my dreams would keep bringing me to him._

_“Felicity I love you, you know that right?”_

_I turned around sighing slightly as I stood. My intentions of providing her comfort were meek at best but right now it was all emotionally I had left to give._

_“I love you too. I’m just...I’m just so tired of being this freak that see’s visions of lives that probably never happened with a man that shares the same name and face of the boy in my dreams.” She reached out for my hand as I did the same each of us providing the other with a slight amount of comfort without making the other feel uncomfortable._

_“I love you my little freak.” I smiled replying in kind._

_“I love you my older lunatic...come on Laurel’s leaving in a few hours for Starling...we should at least pretend to help her finish packing don’t you think?” Sara laughed loudly we ran down the hall, our hands joined as our laughter filled our airy homes bright, sunlit rooms._

_Laurel had left about five hours ago and Sara had fallen asleep in her room so I had our normally shared room to myself. I’d never really had to concentrate to reach our shared place before but lately as we’d both gotten older I was finding it harder and harder to reach our private meeting place. When I was younger all I had to do was close my eyes and wait for my mind to drift and wander as I began to slowly fall through the darkness of my still very scarred soul. But as I became older I found that in order to reach him I had to focus...I had to breath deeply through my nose and mouth and hope that my mind took me to him rather than to yet another vision of a life gone terribly wrong. Tonight however, sleep came quickly and for once I wasn’t happy about the result._

_“Oliver? Hey are you here?”_

_I was standing beneath the lone light fixture as I shouted out into the darkened room. I’d been calling for him for no more than ten minutes when I felt my mind pulling at my body...my mind was done here...my mind was now focusing on something else._

_That night I saw something that had left me chilled for days..._

_That night I saw the boy I knew kill a man that I doubted either one of us knew..._

_That night I saw him change...that was the night that we both began to change._

* * *

 

_**5 Years Ago...** _

_“No this has to stop...you’re not real and frankly this is beginning to ruin my life.” I was adamant this time..._

_Cooper was sweet and the best part was he was real...he was flesh and blood...I could touch him...I could feel him...and I could be awake while doing it. What I felt for Oliver was unnatural...it was unhealthy...and it had to end before both of us got hurt._

_“Felicity I can’t lose you...I can’t lose what we have...I don’t care if it’s not real...I need you and I’ll fight to keep you....”_

_We’d been going back and forth for what seemed like hours now as he stood directly before me. Both of us were bathed in the dim light of our lone overhead lamp. His hands were braced upon my upper arms...his hold was tight and hard against my rapidly heating skin..._

_“Oliver please this had to stop...this is so far from normal that I can’t even see the light at the end of our very fucked up tunnel.” I was attempting to free myself from his hold so he just held me harder until I could feel the slight bruises forming just beneath the skin’s puckered surface._

_“I’m not letting this end...You’re the only reason I’m still alive. I can’t let go of the one person who can still see me as a person...I can’t let go because...” His voice was faltering now so I moved closer out of concern my once closed fists opening as my hand found it’s place alongside his jawline._

_“Oliver...hey it’s alright you know you can tell me anything. I mean hell, I’ve already seen the kills and the scars that have been left on both your body and soul. I don’t want to leave you but I know that we don’t have a choice...Oliver this has to end for your sake and my own.”_

_“No it doesn’t...how about we make a pact.” I raised my eyes but softened when I saw his almost heartbroken expression._

_“And what would this entail exactly?” His face lit up instantly as he pulled me closer his face lowering until our foreheads touched. His voice was soft and breathless as his pulse raced just beneath my fingertips._

_“If I can prove that this is real...that what we both feel for each is real you’ll stop trying to run away from the best thing in your life.”_

_“Oliver...” I sighed his name with exhaustion and shame. Part of me wanted to jump in his arms and say yes while the other part of me...the rational part of me knew that agreeing to this even for a second would lead me down a path that I had no hope of ever escaping._

_He leaned forward sensing my hesitation and unsaid thoughts...we were so close that our breathes had begun to mingle and twine as our palms each found the other’s tepid skin. “Please baby...please just agree even if it’s just for one night...I need you...please...”_

_I sighed again and then I did what I knew would haunt me for the days and weeks to come. I closed the distance between our lips as I pressed mine lightly against his own. “Despite all my words...I need you too...”_

_He held me closer until our bodies had completely melded together. My face was hidden in the crook of his neck so I could breath in his woodsy scent while my arms were free to wrap tightly around his neck. His own face was buried into my shoulder his lips kept pressing to my bared skin as his arms banded tightly around my slender waist. I knew I’d regret this but right now with him wrapped tightly around me I couldn’t find it in myself to care._

* * *

 

**2 Years Ago...**

_I’d woken from our encounter with my spine tingling and my heart racing. I couldn’t believe what I’d just done...I couldn’t believe what we’d just done. He was so destroyed...so tortured...and I’d wanted to take his pain away...I just didn’t realize how far that lone desire would allow us to go. With my mind still in a distracted and rather distant haze I reached over to my bedside table and without even thinking pushed the 3rd name on my speed dial list._

_The phone rang twice before her tired sleep laden voice filled receiver. “Felicity it’s 3 in the morning...” She paused and then came back when she released that I was calling for a reason. “What happened?”_

_I swallowed hard and with my eyes screwed shut I told her, my voice filled with fear as I waited for her reaction. “Julie...I...I...”_

_“Felicity out with it. What  happened in the dream?”_

_“Our relationship advanced...”_

_“Felicity how far did it advance?”_

_I swallowed again as the words finally drifted rather quickly off the tip of my tongue. “We had sex...Julie I had sex with him...and now I have no idea what to believe.”_

_Her next words were short and clipped. “Come to my home office...this has officially gone too far.”_

_Her home was only a few blocks from my home. So I crept down the hall of our four bedroom home and out until I could feel cool morning air as it kissed my still slightly sweaty skin. Her home was a large three story brick structure with a red front door and a black iron fence that surrounded her massive front porch. I bounded up the steps in my white tennis shoes and sweatpants as I used my closed fists to bang rapidly against her front door._

_I could hear her moving around inside so I lowered my fist and waited for the few seconds that it took for her to open the front door. “So I guess I’m hoping that this wasn’t your first sexual experience...God Felicity what the hell happened?”_

_I lowered my head as I walked past her robe covered frame. “His sister died...”_

_She apparently didn’t need any more than that as she moved behind me closing the door and leading me through the darkened hall her hand remaining against the small of my back. She pushed me into the medium sized kitchen and directed me to the black kitchen stool. I could smell the coffee brewing as she walked over to the far side of the kitchen counter. She grabbed two mugs and then leaning near the coffee pot she spoke, her voice was calm and in control. “So tell me what happened and for once don’t leave anything out.”_

_With the white ceramic mug warming my hands I told her how he’d come to me...how’d he’d fallen to his knees as he buried his face in my stomach. His chest was heaving as his tears fell down his face in rivets of hot salty water. I told her how he’d clung to me, how he’d broken down over his life since he was 18. I told her about his training, about the kills and the torture that he’d had to commit, I’d told her about his heart and how even just seeing him for a spare moment made my heart skip a damn beat as my stomach began to flutter. I told her how once I’d soothed his errant nerves we’d come together, my clothes went first as his hands explored over my skins expanse. I told her how it felt when he moved within me...I told her how it felt when I screamed his name...I told her how it felt as he held me to his chest...his lips were pressed to my own as our rapid breathes finally began to slow. I told her everything about our shared experience as she stood leaning lightly against the counter with her coffee mug in hand._

_“Felicity you’re in love with him aren’t you?” I looked up and saw the pity in her still very tired expression._

_“Yes...and the worst part is I don’t want to fall out of it. Julie he’s more real to me than almost anyone else in my life. I love him and I don’t want to lose him...Julie I can’t...”_

_She looked me over for a few moments as she weighed her words carefully.”What if...no that’s not possible...”_

_I looked at her with curiosity evident in my gaze and voice. “Julie what?”_

_She tilted her head as she set the cooling liquid down. “Well what if your Oliver was real...what if your Oliver was a real person?”_

_Not understanding where this was going I just stared blankly in her general direction. “Julie?”_

_“Felicity I think it’s time to see if maybe your now lover is perhaps more based in reality than we’d previously thought.”_

* * *

 

**Present Day...**

“Julie he’s here....you were right two years ago when you stated that my Oliver and Oliver Queen really were the same man; and now he’s here in the same city and Julie...” 

“What?” Her voice with thick with curiosity as she spoke into the phone’s receiver. 

“I think he knows... I think he’s aware of our rather odd shared history.” 

“Why’s that?” 

Felicity shrugged to the empty room as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Well let’s see. I passed out when he so much as spoke to me, he took care of me while I was out, he kept finding small ways to touch me and oh, that’s right, you’ve had me secretly researching him ever since one of my damn dreams brought me to Starling City on the same night that Laurel was killed. So Julie I’d say that me having yet another flash back that was ten times stronger than all the other ones combined would indicate that he’s the one. Julie he’s real and he’s right here. So what the hell am I going to do now?” 

“I’d say it’s time to get your answers.” Felicity rolled her eyes as she lowered her forehead to the cold surface of the desk. 

Felicity spoke once more with exasperation in her voice. “Julie I can’t go through this again, the last time my sister was killed...” 

“Felicity that had nothing to do with you regardless of what your father says. Oliver was in town and we decided to have you take the chance to see if the man whose past matched perfectly with your dream man’s story was in fact the same person. Laurel’s death was an accident, nothing more and you know it." 

“Tell that to my father...” Her face was still planted on the desk while Julie continued to chatter away on the speaker phone. Felicity was still in a self induced haze when she heard a loud, throat clearing cough coming from the office’s front entrance. Her head snapped forward as her heart suddenly sped up; she quickly picked up the phone’s receiver and interrupted Julie in mid thought. 

 “Julie I have to go...I’ll call you later ok...ok...” Felicity stared at him standing before her with a rather vacant but still surprised expression as she ignored Julie’s still screaming voice. With the receiver now once more on the handset she glanced up…Oliver was standing somewhat timidly before her.  

“I’m sorry did I interrupt something?” Felicity just shook her head as she became rigid against the spine of her chair. 

“No...” Felicity gulped loudly as she used her fingers to swipe away the few stray hairs that had escaped from the ponytail confines. “I was just...” Felicity stopped once more as she attempted to regain what little composure she had left. “What can I do for you Mr. Queen?” 

He stepped forward until he had his palms pressed firmly to the desks glass surface. His voice was smooth and in control as he answered the previously stated question. “ Felicity, relax you can talk to me...” 

She looked at him strangely as her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “What do call what we’re doing right now?” Her voice trembling since she knew she was being coy but frankly so was he. 

His lips curved into a small glimmer of a smile as he leaned slightly forward stopping once their eyes were almost level with the others. “Felicity after everything we’ve shared do you really think this is the conversation we should be having?” He leaned closer so that his lips were just barely an inch away from her own; with a voice that was smoother than velvet. “I mean just this morning I was begging you to tell me you loved me...”

That statement caused Felicity to gulp hard as he came even closer, she could clearly see the way his pupils dilated in direct response to the electric current that was now running between them. 

“Oliver...” Felicity felt the crackle in her blood as she stumbled over his mere name. 

He rubbed his nose alongside her own before whispering his final response. “I told you I wasn’t going to lose you and I intend to keep my promises...how about you?” 

Her heart faltered as her fingers closed around the edges of the desk between them. “Fine but Oliver?” 

“Yes Felicity?” 

“Could you kindly step out of my personal space? I’m finding it rather hard to focus right now if you know what I mean...” He laughed and pulled back until he was standing his back was straight as a board but his eyes were still leveled upon her own. 

“Better?” Oliver’s voice held a slight chuckle as Felicity’s lips broke into a soft smile.

Nodding slightly Felicity replied  “Much...so we have a lot to talk about don’t we?” 

He grinned like a cat who’d just caught the canary as he slowly descended into the lone office chair. “So where do you want to start?” 

Felicity started blinking rapidly before she settled on her first topic. “Do you understand what’s happening to us?” 

His grin disappeared completely as his mouth began to frown. 

“No.” 

With one word he managed to once again put them back on the same playing field. With one word he’d told her that he was just as lost and confused as she was. With one word he’d told her that regardless of what this was they were about to find out about it together.


	5. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity finally have a little chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or its characters. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm blown away by all of you who have been reading this story! Just wow!

 

**Chapter 4: Truth**

 

Felicity just looked at him her eyes roaming freely over his seated form as he did the same. 

Each of them just sat there in silence as they both gathered their thoughts into what Felicity hoped would be complete sentences. 

“You’re real....” Felicity shut her eyes in shame the moment her words left her mouth; her hands came up to shield her shame filled face. “Sorry for some odd reason having you here in front of me has made me a bumbling, babbling idiot.” She’d muttered her last sentence into her now damp palms as her voice cracked from the humiliation she was soon to be experiencing. 

“Yes but you’ve known that for at least the past two years...or at least I hoped you knew...” His voice on that last statement was low, light, and filled with a slight amount of worry. 

At his last statement Felicity removed her hands from her eyes and glanced once more into the endless blue orbs that had haunted her dreams for the past 15 years. She couldn’t help but smile softly as she finally and really took him in....

Oliver was always beautiful....which is an odd way to describe a man but that’s what he’d always been at least to her...

He’d always been beautiful...

He’d always been her’s...

Now with him sitting before her Felicity suddenly felt scared, relived, and for some reason hesitant as they continued their small silent game. Oliver knew everything about her right down to the nuts and bolts of what made her heart beat slower or faster. He knew what made her face flush, and her palms sweat, he knew what made her blood run cold, and what made her body burn with fire from within...

He knew every facet of Felicity’s being as she knew his...

Those facts and the emotions they carried is what made Felicity hesitate...

That’s what continued to hold her back....

Felicity had seen him through his darkest days...she’d seen him after he killed that man in the alley way...she’d seen him after each torture session; his body was always so bloodied and scarred...she’d seen every part of him and not once did those fact ever make her want to run away...but before it was all just a dream; something that her mind had made up to shelter her heart from ever truly being broken again...

Now he was here...

Now he was real...

And if it were possible Felicity had already begun to fall even harder for him than she ever had before...

“I knew Oliver...deep down I always knew...I just...”

“You were scared because you felt something for me that you didn’t feel for anyone else...” Again his voice was barely above a whisper and gave nothing away but those eyes as always they gave everything away. 

Felicity’s voice was tired but far from annoyed as she said “Oliver please...” She knew they’d have to this discussion but that didn’t mean she was anywhere close to being emotionally ready for it. 

He sat up and leaned forward placing his hands once again on her desk; his long dexterous fingers were splayed across the clear cool surface. “No we’re going to do this Felicity...you’ve been running from us since that night and all the nights that came after it...I won’t let you keep running from me...”

Felicity’s eyes shot up at that last statement her blood suddenly going rapidly cold. Felicity was careful with her next almost cold dead sounding words. “Those nights never should have happened.”

Oliver on the other hand was not. He chose as usual to make it clear what he wanted and what he still wanted was her. “Well they did and I intend for them to continue...” 

“That might be quite difficult since you have yet to actually kiss me while we’re both awake...” His gazed wandered over her body cautiously. Oliver knew she’d spook like scared rabbit if he if moved to far too fast. Taking great care to gage her reaction towards him he kept his eyes on her as he very slowly inched closer. His chest was now braced against the desks edge as he inched his fingers closer and closer to Felicity’s now clenched fists. 

Oliver racked his brain for any phrase that might make her a more willing participant to what he hoped would be their first in person kiss. So recalling how she felt about some of his less than stellar pick up lines he spoke “Is that an invitation?” At that Felicity rolled her eyes recalling the corny pick up line from many years before. Felicity now understood the game he’d begun to play so in a bold for her move she began to play back. She curled her lips into a small wistful smile before she began sliding her now open palms forward along the smooth surface of the desk. 

“Bad line...do better...” His lips curved as his eyes lit up from within his fingers were now overlapping with her own as she felt him slowly twine them together. 

“Tell me what you want Felicity and I’ll do it...I promise...” Their bodies were now mirroring the other’s. Felicity’s lower abdomen was now fully pressed to the desks edge as their hands were now fully joined in the center of the vast office desk. She felt her blood racing through her body as their eyes remained locked to the other. Felicity could also feel the electric current that had just begun bubbling beneath her skin’s surface as she kept inching closer and closer her body was practically begging to wrapped within his arms. 

“I want...” Felicity winced inwardly as her voice came out hard, aroused, and low.  She was struggling to form the words that she’d often found herself repeating for years on end within her often troubled mind. 

“Felicity just tell me...stop being so goddamned stubborn and tell me what you want...” His own voice was now mirroring her own as she lost what little composure and pride she had left to lose. Felicity could feel herself slowly beginning to give in as her body started rising slightly from her chair. Felicity was so close now that she could smell the light scent of his aftershave as her lips hovered at the underside of his jaw. She was yearning to kiss the rough scruff covered skin…to taste him in the bright light of day instead of in the darkness of the often never ending nights.

Felicity had her lips practically pressed to his skin as she found one last wisp of self control. She uttered those two little words lightly begging him to make the first of what she hoped would be many moves. “You first...”  She could feel the spark growing as his skin bit into her own his fingers were wrapped so tightly around her own that she was sure he’d leave small light bruises behind. His breath faltered and stalled as he nuzzled his nose down the contours of her face. Felicity was panting heavily now as Oliver’s voice began to drift slowly through her aching form.

“I want you...kissing me...holding me...moving rapidly above me...I want you writhing beneath me as you call out my name...I want our shared dreams to be our shared reality.” Felicity was now shaking as each hard sure word escaped from his lightly curved mouth. Their lips were hovering above the others as their heavy breathes mingled together...Felicity was so close to throwing all caution to the wind but his last words made her heart plummet all the way down to her stomach. 

Oliver was many things but at his core he was just as hurt as she had been and still was. Each of them had found themselves as they’d found each other so it made sense when his words felt sad defeated as he uttered them to her parted lips. “I just want you to be in love with me...” Oliver’s voice was no longer hard or low no, now it was light, sad, and she sensed even more than defeated…now Oliver’s voice was heartbroken. His forehead was resting against her own as the words continued to pour forth from his trembling lips. Felicity listened intently realizing that she’d just done what she’d sworn she could never do. Felicity released that she’d just broken his heart....

Oliver words came out in jagged breathes as her world continued to spiral around them. ”I just want you to want me...I just want you to stop running from me...” Still his words kept coming like water as it falls freely from the cliff’s edge. 

“I love you...I’m in love with you...and I’m afraid that you’ll never feel the same...” Felicity’s heart was the one that now broke into a thousand pieces as his body went slack and his face became drawn. 

Felicity started to panic as she said “Oliver...”  she kept trying to bring him back to her as she attempted to keep their hands entwined but Oliver had done what she’d secretly hoped he’d never do. He’d given her what she thought she truly wanted...he’d given her a way out.

Suddenly as she rapidly recalled all their shared moments together Felicity realized with a blinding clarity that she already had what she wanted...all the sudden all she wanted was him... He was the one spiraling now...he’d begun to twist away from our once closely joined bodies as his face fell downwards and his emotions suddenly came flooding forth. 

“Oliver please you don’t understand...” Felicity was speaking with a renewed energy as she attempted to undo the damage she’d already done. 

“Yes I do I’ve done horrible things Felicity...I’ve killed, and tortured countless people all so I could survive...I’ve come to you beaten, scarred, bloodied, and broken and I always saw the look that was deeply etched upon your face...I always knew you were better than me but deep down I always hoped that you could still see me...that you could still see the boy who’d first come to you when his parents died...the one that laughed with you, and cried with you, and held you as your world continued to fall apart....” 

The desperation was tangible in Oliver’s voice as Felicity grabbed at his fingers... she clenched down with what little strength she had left to summon as she yanked his arm forward causing him to spin around so he was once again fully facing her. 

Felicity looked deeply into his sapphire blue eyes and saw the pain but also the love that burned within them. She attempted to steady her slightly breaking heart as she finally gave Oliver the words that he’d deserved to hear all along. “I love you...do you hear me I love you...Oliver I’m so in love with you that I was willing to spend my life in a damn dream world just to stay with you...” Felicity was practically shouting at him as she waited for him to process those last few words. “Oliver please hear me...please I’m just scared and confused...but I don’t want to lose you...I never want to lose you...”  Felicity for once couldn’t tell if he was still with her or if she’d waited for too long to tell him what was truly in her heart...that was until he finally moved rapidly towards her lips...

* * *

 

 Felicity had no more than blinked before Oliver had her pressed firmly up against the bookcase that as alongside the back wall of her office. Oliver yanked her arms up until he had their hands once more interlocked directly above her head...his body was pressed dangerously closer to her own as his lips hovered directly above Felicity’s slightly parted lips...

Oliver spoke softly as Felicity’s own body began to tremble and shake. “I love you...” Felicity began to relish the feel of the steady hum as the current between them began to build.  Their combined frenzied breaths helped to create an intense friction between their joined chests. Felicity let her eyes flutter until they were completely shut as she took in how it felt to have his body pinning her...trapping her...and consuming her as he held them firmly in place against the hard bookcase containing wall. 

Felicity let the words slip past her tongue once more as his lips began their slow and tortuous decent. “I love you Oliver...I love y....” They’d kissed multiple times in their shared dream world. They’d had slow, long, and exploratory exchanges that allowed their senses to take in every soft purposeful moan. They’d had the quick rapid kisses that were exchanged in relief as his broken soul fell before her in the husk that was now coated in one more irremovable scar. Felicity could still recall the feeling of  the harsh brush of his stubbed skin as her fingertips brushed slowly over his jawline. Felicity had spent what felt like countless hours memorizing his face with her simple touch alone. Felicity recalled sharing the kisses that could be felt all the way down to your toes...She recalled how it felt when they shared the kisses that were felt long after their lips had parted...Felicity and Oliver had shared everything that two mere bodies could experience; and still in this one lone moment all of that paled to the fire and the emotion that she felt as his lips roughly seared to her own.

His lips were soft, pliant, and full as he leaned in closer...she felt his lips curving into a small smile when his movements caused her to moan against him. Felicity shivered as she felt his fingers curving downwards; his solid form had crushed them further and further into the solid black columns of the case behind her. His main focus was on her bottom lip as Felicity paid very rapt attention to his top one. He sucked and nipped until she was writing against his strong hips... Oliver’s touch begun to illicit an even stronger urge within her own body as she shoved her chest forward into his own.  Once she felt his tongue lightly tracing along the edge of my upper lip Felicity could feel the world disappearing beneath her feet. He kissed her until she began to go slack and only then did he pull away but only so their lips would be parted...the rest of him stayed firmly nestled against her own oxygen deprived form. 

 Felicity was panting heavily as she uttered out a simple “Wow…” as was he but that didn’t stop the smile from returning nor did it silence his joyous reply. 

“Wow indeed...” His own breathing was still just as compromised as his breaths were still coming out hard and fast. Felicity hadn’t wanted to move but her back was about to break so she pushed against him until he moved backwards with a slightly lopsided grin. Felicity’s head fell forwards in gratitude once she could no longer feel the hard edge of the bookcase as it dug into her lower back. 

With a soft very grateful smile she said in a light whispery tone “Sorry my back was killing me...”

Oliver in that moment kissed her hair just as he’d been doing since she was ten years old. Oliver had also finally brought her arms down to rest around his neck. His own arms then moved down to band tightly around her slim waist.  

Oliver was the first to break the silence that only their combined breathes were threatening to shatter. “We have so much more to talk about you know.” She reluctantly nodded against their joined foreheads as they slightly swayed back and forth. 

“I know but...” Felicity was about to say more but Oliver had decided to cut her off at the pass.  

“But not here and not now...I know...so when?” His voice was both eager but understanding as Oliver once again let her chart the course in this often rocky if not unsettled sea. 

Felicity took a deep shallow breath before she made her first tentative move “Where are you staying?” Much to her amusement but and even a slight amount of dismay her voice was still weak from their previous encounter. However her lightened tone wasn’t light enough for her words to go unheard by his closely lingering ears.

Oliver as usual left her surprised and bewildered as he replied…“Actually I’m not far from you I suspect...”  It took moments for her to remember Tommy...

“Tommy told you where I was living didn’t he?” He just nodded slowly before voicing his reply. 

“You’re not mad at me are you?” Felicity should have been but not at Oliver she should have been angry with Tommy whose loose lips almost sunk her ship. However Oliver’s innocent and almost terrified look made her slight ire all but vanish on site. 

Felicity sighed out her reply as she let her fingers drift lazily along the short cropped hairs at the base of his neck. “No...not really.”

 She thought long and hard for a few more moments voicing her next slightly timid reply. Felicity knew they had to talk but she also knew that if they’d even so much as brushed their hands together then they’d once more be pressed up against some random wall her this time her own home. However as she laid down the ground rules prior to this evening she felt she might stand a small chance of them avoiding her bedroom for one night at least.  “Come by my house around 8? Sara has a night shift at the lab tonight so she won’t be home until dawn. That should give us plenty of time to talk...and yes I mean actually talk no kissing or physical contact of any sort got it?” 

Oliver nodded again as his pressed lips lightly one more to Felicity’s. “Got it...so I’ll see you tonight at 8...” 

Pulling apart Felicity replied “Yes tonight at 8...Oh and Oliver?...” He still held her so she could feel the laughter building in his chest with her last comment. “You’re cooking dinner.” 

* * *

 

 They parted shortly after that his lips lingered on her forehead as their joined hands fought to stay twined until the bitter end. Felicity recalled with some bitterness an old line from some black and white film she’d seen many years ago. She recalled that Shakespeare had said if first but then Hollywood had gone and stolen it. Parting is such sweet sorrow…She know for perhaps the first time in her life finally understood what those words truly meant.

Felicity leaned heavily against the door frame as she watched his back moving beneath the light grey of his dress jacket. She brought her fingers to her lips as she watched him slowly leave her sight. Felicity’s heart thudded loudly within her chest as the  elevator doors finally sealed shut. Then with some hesitance she walked slowly towards her desk picking up the phone and dialing an all too familiar number. 

“So how did it go?” Felicity smiled hearing her lively voice on the other end. 

“God...he knew me Sara...he knew me...” 

“You’re kidding? Have you told Shaw yet? I mean she did like you know lose her medical license because of you.” Felicity sighed recalling that whole mess almost two years ago...

“Not yet she’s my next call...and Sara?” 

“Yes Lissy-Girl?” 

“He’s coming over tonight at 8.” 

Sara’s response caused Felicity’s already wide smile to grow even wider. “You’re so lucky that I’m working tonight...I expect a full report at dawn.” 

Felicity smirked slightly as she spoke “Yeah that won’t be happening...” 

Sara’s retort was fast and to the point “It will if he’s still there...”

 Felicity blushed as she said goodbye placing the phone lightly back on the receiver. Tonight was going to be interesting that much was guaranteed. 

 


	6. Two Sides to Every Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter request from a reader so yes I will actually consider your thoughts if you ask me! She wanted a chapter from Oliver's point of view so let us see into Oliver's head during their journey to now and then I revealed the mother of all plot twists well for me anyways!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

**Chapter 5: Two Sides to Every Story**

 

Oliver felt her eyes boring through the fabric of his jacket as he’d walked almost stiffly to the elevator doors. Most people did things in a normal fashion, they would meet first and exchange the awkward hello and nice to meet you followed by the stray smile or flirtatious glance. Those first few moments would then be followed by the lame pick up line or even two lame pick up lines. If the man in question was lucky enough those few stupid lines would at least open the door enough so that she’d even consider giving up more of her valuable time by saying yes to the invitation to dinner. With Felicity nothing had gone the right way, they’d done it all the wrong way...

Oliver stepped forward as he resisted the urge to turn back knowing that her smiling face would be there waiting. Oliver had spent countless hours dreaming of that smile. He’d spent even more time dreaming of those always full and soft lips that puckered slightly whenever he’d kissed them. Felicity might never know just how much she truly meant to him or how much she changed him; Felicity would never know how she’d saved him.

Oliver barely heard the rustle and bustle as body after body filled the small, cramped elevator as it passed through level after level until finally the car had reached his own. All he could do was picture that moment...the first moment that he’d seen her coming towards him from beneath the pale, dim, and strangely never ending light. Oliver had lost his parents that night...they’d gone out to see a play, what play Oliver still couldn’t remember but they’d left both him and Thea alone with nothing more than a few vague happy memories to keep them warm at night. Raisa’s raised panicked voice still sliced through his memory like a sharp blade. The sounds of the officer’s dull, lifeless voice as they’d told her that there’d been an accident still caused his body to go numb... Oliver, despite all the passed time, could still hear the rain as it hit softly against the tempered glass... his  blood had long ago drained from his face as he leaned against the railing of the winding staircase...the news had hit him square in the chest. 

Upon impact they’d died instantly.  At least, according to the police, they’d felt little to no pain. No. The only pain that was felt was by those they’d left behind. Raisa didn’t stop crying for almost four days while Thea wandered around the house in a confused babbling haze. Oliver had remained numb as he began to stop caring for anything.  Despite his young age, he had learned long before that day that having iron walls could erase the cold ache that had begun to seep through his soul. 

Their loss should have broken the innocent wide eyed soul within...

It should have destroyed what little light was still evident beneath his cool, dead eyes...

He should have accepted his fate without hesitation or fear...

He should have died that night but instead he met the one person who made him want to live...

He’d met the one person who made him want to fight to survive...

Oliver didn’t know it then but that night he’d met the one person who would love him scars and all. 

* * *

 

_She was younger than him but by how many years he didn’t know.  She had dark wavy hair that fell just below her shoulders but all and all she was nothing much to look at nor did she hold anything more than a passing interest to the crestfallen Oliver as he sat there huddled against the back of the foreign black wall. No, her appearance isn’t what drew him in...what made him trust her...what made him open up to her was her voice. She’d speak every once in awhile as Oliver stayed curled in the fetal position just waiting for the dream to end so he could once again return home. After the first night he had felt nothing more than a twinge of regret as his mind awoke the next morning. Her soft, wistful voice still filled his senses as the morning sun warmed his tear stained face. The second night was no different. The twinge was stronger but the regret remained the same. By the fourth night Oliver finally snapped...she’d be there sitting in the middle of that damn room just talking about nothing and everything all at the same time...she was so...so..._

_She was the light in an otherwise darkened universe so against his better judgment Oliver spoke and slowly let her in one small, simple word at a time. She’d always spoke first as she talked about her day... sometimes she’d talk about her mother and about her own loss. Her father had left them for another woman and another life. She’d been so broken and hurt that Oliver had done something he’d never thought was possible, he asked to know more. Oliver’s first step towards accepting this new person into his heart was when he asked her one simple question._

_“What’s your name again?”_

_She smiled and then replied “Felicity. My name is Felicity.”_

_“Will you ever forgive him? You know for leaving you?” Oliver’s voice was hesitant and for him almost shockingly still, but despite all that she’d heard him...as she always did._

_“One day...I’ll forgive him one day...but it just isn’t going to be today.” Felicity smiled softly in Oliver’s direction as she picked at a loose string on her panda covered pajama bottoms. Her soft voice brightened when she changed the subject and asked, “How about you? Will you ever forgive them?”_

_“For what?” This made Oliver curious so he inched a sheer millimeter closer...for once bringing his face forward into the light._

_Her voice was soft and delicate like a melody floating along the air on a warm spring day. Her words struck a chord that Oliver had long since feared he’d never fully let go of. “For dying...do you think you’ll ever forgive them for leaving you and your sister alone to fend for yourselves?” Felicity’s forehead went down as Oliver went silent._

_Oliver stewed on her question as it bounced back and forth within his head until he’d found the words that up until now he’d been reluctant to admit. “No...No, Felicity. I don’t think I truly ever will.” With that last parting thought Oliver leaned back settling firmly against the wall. However, instead of shutting back down like he'd done before, this time Oliver did what he’d never thought he would do. Oliver held out his hand and waited to see if perhaps their bond was truly more than one sided._

_Moments later Oliver sat there stunned as her small, warm palm grasped his own._

* * *

 

 As Oliver turned the knob on the glass door he smiled recalling another moment of their unique shared history that had brightened many darkened days. 

* * *

 

_“You know you’re skin is going to be a road map of scars before much longer...” They’d been sitting in front of each other for about an hour at this point. She had her legs curled beneath her while Oliver’s were spread out around her small form._

_“Really? I show you something that greatly bothers me and you make it into a joke? You know I’m just not sure about you sometimes Felicity.” Oliver had kept his tone light so she knew he was kidding but nonetheless she looked up from the game she’d insisted that they play._

_“Oliver, I’d like you even if you were covered in boils and pockmarks. You’re my best friend...you’re the only person I can talk to these days...” Oliver’s smile faltered as she slightly stumbled over her last words._

_Oliver reacted instantly by asking, “Felicity what are you hiding from me?” She chewed at her bottom lip just as she always did when she was nervous or attempting to hide something from him so he pressed on as his palms hovered beneath her own stiffly positioned ones. Felicity remained silent which Oliver took as a sign to once again press the issue.  “Felicity...talk to me...what’s wrong?”_

_Felicity still remained silent so Oliver changed his voice slightly before once more saying her name. “Fe-lic-ity...”_

_“They think I’m crazy...the whole lot of them think I’m nuts because I keep dreaming of a teenage boy who has more scars on his body than a goddamn mafia solider. They’ve sent me to this doctor and Oliver it’s bad...she wants to put me on all these drugs...she claims I’m and I quote...” She held her fingers up as she signaled the sign for quotation marks before stating the woman’s absurd claims. “That I’m experiencing a break with reality...I think she’s just hard up for money and that she see’s my parents as easy targets. Either way Oliver...she’s...she...” Her voice began to tremble and shake so Oliver did what he’d always done to comfort her. He moved forward until her small frame was wrapped in his much larger one._

_“Felicity shhh...it’s alright...no one is going to hurt you...” She coughed and hiccupped as her cries lessened and her body stilled._

_“She’s going to take you away from me...she’s going to make it so I can’t find you anymore...”  Oliver heard and felt the fear along with the panic in her voice as she continued to quietly sob into his grey shirt. Oliver held her shaking form; his lips pressed a small, very chaste kiss to her darkened tresses. His heart was breaking for her...but it was also breaking for himself as well. By now, she was his light...she was the only bright spot in a world filled with grey...she was his best friend and he wasn’t about to lose her without a fight._

_“She can’t take me away Felicity...” Oliver spoke softly into her hair as her fingers dug deeply into his forearms._

_“You don’t know that...” She snuffled and shifted as she curled closer into the warmth of his chest._

_Oliver’s smile grew with his next statement. “Yes I do...she can’t break us if we don’t let her.”_

_“What do you mean?” She was still snuffling into his chest but her voice had suddenly shifted from sad to hopeful._

_“I mean she can’t break what she can’t reach. Felicity, I don’t know if this is real or just made up by two very broken and scared people but she can’t touch what doesn’t really exist.”_

_“So if I say you’re not real then it’s like I’m shutting off the part of my brain that reaches out to you?” Her voice confident in her last statement still made his heart grow warm._

_Oliver smiled into her hair marveling at how smart someone so young could truly be. “Yes. She can’t touch what doesn’t exist. She can’t touch us Felicity...no one can...”_

_Oliver had no way of knowing how he’d grow to regret those words as she grew..._

_He’d grow to hate that moment.  She became this strong, beautiful force of nature who was the little girl he’d sworn to protect...until one day she was the only woman he’d risk life and limb to see. Yes...he’d grown to regret telling her they weren’t real...because in some way she’d been more real to him then all the people who’d floated in and out of his tortured life._

_Yes, Oliver did regret those words but in that moment as she smiled lightly against his tear soaked shirt he had never felt happier in his whole life._

* * *

 

 Oliver unbuttoned his dress jacket and was in the process of undoing the tie as he took his seat behind his glass desk. This next moment brought him no joy but it did teach him that no matter what he’d done or who he became she’d always care for him...

* * *

 

_“Tell me where you hid the money Victor...tell me and all this can end...” Oliver’s skin was coated in Victor’s dried blood as his voice practically slithered slowly past his tense lips. The assignment was clear..._

_Simple..._

_Direct..._

_This man had been working for his father’s company long before Oliver’s training had begun. He’d been present as they tore apart his back with the thick leather whips...each lash tore away small bits and pieces of flesh as he screamed until his vocal cords bled. He’d stood there as they broke every bone in Oliver’s young unmarred hands claiming that through pain one found strength...through pain one found redemption. He’d stood there as they almost burned Oliver alive...yes Victor had seen them beat, torture, drug, and then finally break him. He’d seen the kind of monster they’d created and he’d never once flinched. Now as Oliver stood before him with a bloodied screwdriver in his hand Victor looked scared, alarmed, and shocked. He’d seen them create the monster but he never wagered that they’d really break him...he never thought he’d one day be at that small boy’s mercy._

_Oliver brought the metal weapon down until he could feel the crunch of his skull beneath the metal's angled head. Oliver kept hitting him until one side of his face was caved in... the only way to identify him would be through dental records...Oliver was covered in his blood...he was covered in his life...Oliver had finally become the monster they’d worked so hard to create. His crime had been minor but his goals had been long term. Oliver’s father had been involved with the Bravta for years but Oliver never realized just how far down those ties truly were_

_“He ordered your parent’s murder Oliver...he is the reason you’re here instead of your father...he’s the reason you’re the monster you are...he took away your choices in life...he created his own destruction...”_

_Oliver could hear Alexi’s dead cold voice as he drifted off to sleep. His heart was torn between what was right and what was wrong..._

_Victor's blood still slightly stained his arms just as the remnants of his flesh clung tightly in the spaces between his fingernails and his skin. His death coated him with a thick veil of shame. Oliver had killed a man today. He'd tortured a man until his own rage ended his life. She’d seen it all his sweet Felicity. She'dbeen there when he’d taken a life...she’d been there during the second and third...she’d held him as he broke down. Her open, pure and loving heart kept his own afloat as his demons threatened to swallow him whole. As he shut his eyes and closed off his heart he now prayed to see her face so that his broken, tattered soul might one day find a way to forgive itself for the vile acts that he’d committed today._

_“Oliver...oh god...Oliver what have you done?”_

_Oliver rushed towards her as the tears fell freely down his face. He had his face buried in her abdomen as he slowly slid down her shock ridden form. Oliver clung to her needing her warmth... her words...her comfort...and her heart. He needed to remember what it was like to feel alive so he’d clung to the one person who’d made the instinct to survive burn that much brighter._

_“Oliver please talk to me...tell me what happened...Oliver please...you can trust me...I won’t ever abandon you...I promise...”_

_With his fingers digging roughly into her soft pliant flesh he gave her the only words his raw, frozen throat could create..._

_“I love you Felicity...”_

_She’d said nothing. All she did was run her soft and sure fingers through his coarse hair until she felt his body finally begin to still...she said nothing as she slid down, her chest brushing lightly down the path of his skin until her eyes were level with his own. They were both on their knees as his arms banded securely around her waist. Her own hands were upon his face so her lips were directly in line with his own._

_“I’m never going to abandon you...I promise...” She brushed her lips rather timidly against his before he took more control by sealing them together until he felt they’d began to become one._

_She didn’t say the words..._

_Because she knew deep down she didn’t have too..._

* * *

 

 Oliver’s musings were interrupted by the small knock at his glass door. 

“Have you told her yet?” 

He looked up to see his slightly worried face as he came closer...

“You’re nerves are going to be you’re undoing my friend. I’m going to see her tonight...all this will be over soon, John. I promise.” 

“You said that two years ago when I tracked your ass down after she almost got herself killed trying to get to you...you were her world then. I can only imagine how much worse those damn visions are going to get now that you’re together again.” 

Oliver sighed as he ran a hand down the length of his face. John was now seated before him and his anxiety was clearly written all over his tired and drawn face. Oliver’s voice lowered as he said “I love her John.I won’t lose her again.” 

“I don’t doubt that you forget I’ve seen what those visions do to you...I’ve seen you tear into your own skin while you’re in the midst of those damn visions. But you haven’t seen what they do to her...”

“John...” 

“No, you don’t understand. That damn doctor had her so drugged up that she flat-lined twice in the span of five minutes...Oliver, her heart stopped because she so desperately wanted to find you...” 

Anger was edged in his voice as he rose from his chair. “You forget what happened when her heart stopped... so did my own” 

“It doesn’t matter Oliver. She'd almost died again when she came to Starling City because against any form of good judgment she kept going to that doctor in a vain attempt to bring about those damn memories...she was so desperate to prove you were real that she wound up almost dead in that damn alley...” 

“John, I never would have let that happen...” Oliver’s voice was edged even further as he circled around a subject he’d rather forget. 

“She thinks Laurel is dead Oliver...she has no idea that it’s Laurel who’s responsible for all this...she doesn’t know the whole story...she doesn’t know who Laurel, and Lance for that matter really are...Oliver she’s going to be crushed...”

He hadn’t risen once during his entire speech. He just sat there with his elbows braced against the hard surface of the table’s unforgiving glass. His eyes were lined at the edges and his lips were thinning with age. He’d grown tired of the constant lies...and frankly so had Oliver.

“John, I’d die for her...hell I have how many times now...”

He exhaled loudly before replying. “Based on all the stories and facts we’ve managed to find in the past two years...” He closed his eyes briefly before delivering his final response. “You’re at lucky number 13 and we’re still no closer to figuring out how all this is actually possible.” 

“She’s the key Digg...according to Julie she has the memories that we need but without a direct connection to me she can’t...” 

“Access them," he interjected, "yes, I’ve heard it all before....she loves you Oliver...this is going to destroy her...”

Oliver smiled softly before turning his computer screen around revealing how little he really knew of the woman he had spent lifetimes falling for. “She knows more than you think...” 

“Oliver how...how did she gather all this intel?” 

His voice was shocked and to Oliver’s amusement also slightly proud. “She’s a genius Digg...she’s also stubborn so after we, well, um...” 

“Yeah after you two had sex. Oliver, it was in some messed up dream world that only you two can access. It wasn’t real...” 

“It was for me...” Oliver whispered the last part as John smiled nodding in understanding as he reviewed her many findings. 

“You think she’s ready for the truth?” John's voice was hesitant but at the same time ready for this whole long, drawn out story to finally be over. 

“She has to be...if the timeline remains consistent than in less than 6 months we’re both going to die...” Oliver’s throat clenched as those last words struggled for release.

 “But this time it will be for good...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm continuing people! I've rec'd so much positive feedback that I've just been blown completely away! 
> 
> Visit me @laurabella2930 on Tumblr! I'd love to hear from you!


	7. Nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So some Felicity and some Oliver before the big talk begins...just trying to flesh out both sides of the story before they actually talk to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters. 
> 
> To anyone who's been reading and commenting or just leaving kudos thank you so much it means more than you could imagine!

 

**Chapter 7: Nerves**

 

Felicity moved around her apartment with very little ease and even less grace as she picked up Sara’s “misplaced” clothing from every single small crevice that their townhome could have. Sara had many fine and down right adorable qualities but her housekeeping skills, well, they were lacking. One hand held about three or four t-shirts the other was filled with various necklaces, about three pairs of shorts and her three inch peep toe pumps.  However, what made this moment perfect was the fact that Felicity also had two of Sara's lacy, frilly bright red bras hanging over bare shoulder...so of course she would hear a rather loud, if not, frantic knock at the door. 

“I’m coming....well sort of...one minute...” she yelled as she maneuvered her way through the obstacle course of Sara’s other personal affects as she attempted to carefully and quickly answer the loud and rather persistent knock. 

“I’m coming just...well just keep your pants on!” She exclaimed with her hand on the door. Felicity’s face soured when she heard the ring of an all too familiar voice...

“I forgot my key so just hold off from lecturing me and move your ass, my arms are getting tired here.” Felicity scowled as she fought to restrain her very evident amusement. She took a breath and turned the knob using the only spare limb she had to push the door wide open. 

Once Felicity saw her the loud and rather unattractive snort she’d managed to keep within was suddenly released as Sara sneered. Felicity choked back even more laughter as Sara before pushed roughly against her shoulder as she shuffled past. “Sara,did you fall into, like, every single puddle in Starling? My God sweetie you’re drenched and...” Felicity could smell the slight wet and moldy odor as it lingered faintly in the foyer of their shared home. “Um, Sara, why do you smell like...” Felicity inhaled once more attempting to find the right words to describe the odor that was steadily growing stronger. 

“A sewer, the word you’re looking for is a sewer and the reason is my stupid, if not unbelievably well intentioned girlfriend...” Just as the word girlfriend slipped from her tight pursed lips in stomped an equally wet and just as smelly Nyssa. 

“I never asked you to travel down into the sewer, you chose to make that rather abhorrent choice all on your own my love.” Felicity glanced between the two women as they proceeded to stare, each one mentally throwing daggers at the other. 

“Yes but did you not say and I quote "but Sara it’s my last remaining heirloom from my mother"...” Felicity leaned against the still open door frame watching with a great degree of interest as they continued to throw one verbal volley after the other... each one standing firm and strong as they continued to drip the rotten, sewage laden water onto the newly installed hardwood floors. 

“I never asked you to open the grate and climb in...I was suggesting that we perhaps track the wretched water’s flow...”

“Nyssa, it’s a storm drain. It flows down to another underwater tunnel and then down to the city’s water recycle plant. Trust me baby that sucker was gone if we followed your line of thought.” 

Sara had begun to trudge up the stairs muttering small light curses as her shoes slipped against the floors smooth surface. “Damn stupid fucking shiny ass floor...Felicity next time I’m choosing the floor!” Felicity chuckled before moving away from the open door. 

“Nyssa let’s get you some warm, dry,  clean smelling clothes shall we?” 

“Yes, that would be wonderful...Hello Lissy...” She smiled gently kissing Felicity’s cheek before she closed the open door. “Sorry about all this...I know that you had plans for this evening.” 

Felicity just rolled her eyes as she dumped the contents of Sara’s closet onto the creme colored couch before moving towards the laundry basket at the other end. “Don’t worry about it....I’ll just reschedule....”

“Oh no you won’t Felicity Meghan Smoak, you are going to see him tonight if I have to drug you and carry you over there myself.” She glanced towards the stairs as a now partially dry Sara appeared from just below the landing. 

“Sara...”

“No. I’ve had to watch for two years as you’ve subjected yourself to various hypnosis sessions, drug therapies and even a few ill fated trances just so you could find the answers that your hacking abilities couldn’t find. You are going to see this through.” Sara had closed in on her now as she put her slightly cooled skin upon Felicity’s very flushed face. “You love him...don’t run away from that...you’ve spent two years trying to run towards him, don’t backpedal now.” Leaning into her offered comfort. She closed her eyes sighing heavily before nodding into her familiar palm. 

“I’m scared Sara...what if he hates me when I tell him the truth...what if he doesn’t understand...what if he turns away from me...I can’t lose him Sara...Not again...” Sara smiled as Felicity’s voice became soft and weak. Her fear was beginning to take hold as her knees began to knock rapidly against the other. 

“He loves you...who wouldn’t?”

 Felicity glared but smiled softly right after. “He’s not you...” 

“No he’s more...he’s the only person in the world who can truly understand what you’ve been through because he’s been through it too.” She came closer until their foreheads were tightly pressed together. They wound their arms naturally around the other’s waist. “He’s seen every facet of you and he still wants you...don’t waste that by being too afraid to make your own move. For once baby sister take what you want.” She paused briefly before saying what they’d already both known was true. “You want him so grab him and never let go...” 

“I love you big sister...” 

Sara smiled as she leaned back bringing her hand up to once again cup the side of Felicity’s face. “I love you too little sister...do you think he’ll react better than I did when you tell him about Laurel and dad?” 

Now her head fell forward, her forehead came smashing down to Sara’s shoulder.”Sara how could he? I mean how do you tell the love of your life that your step sister and step father are the reason we’ve been trapped in this strange past life nightmare for over 500 years...” Felicity sighed as she continued to mumble softly into her soft cotton hoodie. “I mean it’s like a tagline from some really bad sappy romance novel...you didn’t believe me until I found Laurel 10 months ago why the hell would he?” 

“Maybe because he’s been suffering from the same nightmares as you?” Nyssa suggested as Sara kept rubbing soothing patterns into the small of her back. 

“I see you’ve told her...” Felicity groaned loudly into her shoulder as she began to slightly giggle.

She sheepishly replied...”She guessed.” 

Felicity pinched her sides which caused her to yelp. “You’re an awful liar...” Looking towards Nyssa but staying in Sara’s embrace she asked her sister’s better half what she thought about the odd predicament. “Nyssa what do you think?” 

Her fingers were coiled tightly around the others as she stood completely still. Her clothing was hanging tightly around her as she became deathly focused on giving her best response. “What if he’s your missing key?” 

Felicity pushed away from Sara and moved to lightly clasp Nyssa’s hands with her own. “What do you mean?” 

She looked downwards as her feet moved lightly against the now thoroughly soaked floor. “You can’t see past a certain point right?” Felicity’s brow knitted as her head bobbed slowly.

“Yes, why?”

 “Well what if the reason for your mental limitation is him...what if you need him as he needs you to complete the puzzle...what if you two can’t prevent the future without fully understanding your past?” 

“We have to connect...” 

“Yes but in the physical world not just in the spiritual one. You’ve come together in one plane correct?”

Felicity flushed squeaking, “Yes...” before her heart began to hammer loudly within her chest.

“More than once?” Nyssa quietly asked.

Felicity was dying inside but she’d hit on a rather valid point. The visions had always been there but they only appeared when they’d connected...they only appeared when they’d broken through another invisible barrier. 

“Yes more than once...” Now her fingers were clamped together as her body began to shudder in utter horror. 

“How many times?” 

“Nyssa!” Sara exclaimed.

“What! I have a point in asking and no it’s not just to see her turn yet another adorable shade of red....” She smiled slightly before whispering into Felicity’s ear. “Although it is a fringe benefit...” 

Felicity, despite herself, laughed as Sara growled...

“Nyssa make your point before you and I come to blows.” She smiled even wider but her normal no nonsense tone became softer, kinder, and even gentle as she continued. 

“Felicity, how many?” She shrugged acting like she didn’t know the exact number. Felicity however had memorized each time she’d felt his skin beneath her fingernails as she raked roughly down his scarred and burned flesh. 

“Ummm...” Felicity stalled as she looked upwards.

“Felicity, come on, fess up. How many...” Sara’s tone was annoyed but filled with a new purpose. 

“45″ Felicity said in a tone that was one octave below a light whispering wind. 

“Felicity....” Sara’s tone was a warning one. Felicity took a deep breath as she merged her hands into one giant fist and attempted to find her usually strong voice. 

“45 alright. We've had “dream sex” 45 times in two years and I see him every single time I sleep so really that’s like barely a drop in the bucket.” She snickered but it was Nyssa who responded. 

“And the visions, were they stronger? Did they form a more complete picture after you’d been together?”  Felicity’s tomato pallor increased as Sara finally put two and two together.

“Oh my god! You two totally did it last night didn’t you? That’s why the vision you had today was so strong! That means...” 

“In order to figure out what really happened in our past Oliver and I have to...” Felicity was so mortified by the turn this conversation had taken that she couldn’t even form the words that were now lodged in the back of her throat. 

“Oh come Lissy you’ve already had sex...” Her voice stilled and then changed when she thought about the circumstances. “Oh my god are you afraid that he won’t want the real thing? Are you afraid that the real deal won’t live up to the dream?” 

“Can you blame me?” Felicity asked painfully as Sara and Nyssa came forward. “I know it’s stupid but that wasn’t real real...this will be...what if...what if I don’t...”

“If his expectations aren’t met then he doesn’t deserve you. Love is more than the physical it’s also about the emotional.” Sara’s face was nuzzled into the back of her neck while her arms wrapped around her from behind.

Nyssa had her arms around Felicity’s neck; her fingers drifting lightly through her hair. “Lissy, you’ll be perfect to him...I promise you could never disappoint him...never...” They both held her as she softly wept into Nyssa’s still drenched and smelly coat. Felicity took their strength and their warmth as she gathered the courage to do what she’d always secretly dreamed of doing.

Felicity picked up the phone so she could make a real formal first date with Oliver Queen.

* * *

 

 Oliver watched as he paced back and forth along the length of the small living space within the rented townhouse. “John please take a seat, this is soon going to be nothing more than a distant memory.” 

He turned on his heel once again and continued his pointless journey going back and forth across the rooms expanse sighing heavily each time he neared Oliver’s seated form. “She’s not like you Oliver, she’s an innocent who doesn’t deserve any of this...she’s...”

“My entire world, John. Do you really think I wouldn’t move heaven and Earth to protect her? John, I’ve known her since she was eight years old...I’ve cared for her since the night her father left and my parents died. I’ve held her as she’s cried while she’s been there to remind me what if feels like to be alive...” Taking a deep breath he stood stopping Diggle’s forward motions with a slight touch of his hand to his broad sturdy chest. “I don’t exist without her so please stop thinking that I won’t put her first...she comes before anything, even myself.” Oliver’s voice wasn’t hard or edged with anger it was simple, soft and direct Oliver knew he’d never do anything to harm her but convincing him of this simple fact still to this day took quite a bit of effort. 

“It’s hard to imagine that a man like you can feel that way towards a woman like her...” His reply was not an insult or a reprimand, it was just a simple statement of fact. 

“I know.” Oliver’s lips upturned slowly as he moved past John’s massive frame, his hand lightly grazing the top of his shoulder in a friendly pat as he passed. “The information for the groups movements I assume is on the desk in my bedroom?” 

“Yes the group that’s been tracking you has set up shop in the lower Glades just as you suspected they would...what are you going to do about this new wrinkle?” 

Oliver turned from the kitchen counter and faced him with his hands braced alongside his hips. Oliver’s face was tight, in control, and prepared to make a statement that his bodygaurd of the moment would most likely take issue with. “I’ll do what I’ve been trained to do...”

“Oliver you can’t put her in danger like that...”

He was tensing like a lion stalking its prey as his eyes narrowed into small direct points. “She’s not going to be in any danger, John, I won’t let that come anywhere near her...they’ll keep till morning.” Oliver lowered his head exhaling loudly before he asked his next question. “Is she with them?” 

He knew who “she” was before he finished his short phrase. “Yes, she’s the one that brought them here...She and her father must have been planning this for years so why not just take Felicity completely out of play?” 

He’d just vocalized Oliver’s own silent and unspoken words so he looked up taking in John’s braced posture; his arms crossed tightly against his chest. “It’s different this time...She’s never grown up with Felicity before....she’s never been with another before...Laurel broke the rules of that damn would be curse.” 

His mouth quirked in confusion. “How?” 

Oliver smiled slightly recalling the small cooing sounds that Ava had made against the phones receiver just a mere hour before. “She had a daughter this time...she has what she took from me in the beginning...she has a family.” 

“What about Lance? He loves our girl so this can’t be easy for him.” 

Oliver nodded as he leaned into the countertops cool but still sharp edge. “He has no choice, none of us do Digg...the only way this stops is if we can figure out what started it to begin with.” 

Oliver could tell this aspect of his life still completely confused him so his next question wasn’t surprising at all. “Oliver what do you think started all this? I mean why is it so important that you find her in every life? Wouldn’t it be easier to just live without her?” 

“Have you ever been in love John?” Oliver’s arms were crossed against his chest, his legs laced one over the other on the cool marble floors. He looked at John with a clear head and no regret in his heart as he mulled over his forthcoming answer. 

“Yes, why?”

“What would you give to be with her?” He still seemed confused so Oliver elaborated. “She’s my reason for waking up...she’s my reason to continue breathing through the injuries of my past...she makes me better, but the real reason this all started is because she died...she and our unborn child died so that I could survive...I could live a thousand lifetimes and never be worthy of her love.” 

“They killed her in the first life didn’t they?” Oliver nodded as he finally took the seat located just behind his very rigid form. “So do you think she’s seen them as well...the visions I mean?” 

“She’s seen them.” 

“How do you know?” 

He shuddered recalling their last shared moments in the dreamscape that had been at times more real than even the waking world. “I just do.” 

He was about to respond when Oliver’s pocket buzzed. Bringing his phone forward he looked over the name that flashed across the screen. His grin grew as his finger eagerly pressed answer. “I’ve missed you...” 

Her tone was light but he could feel the hesitation and fear buried within it. “I don’t think I’ll ever adjust to this...” he smiled before asking his next question.

“Felicity I’m going to see you in an hour so what’s wrong? Why are you calling baby?” 

“Can I come to you instead?” Her answer was quick and her voice trembled slightly in unexpressed fear.

“I’d like nothing more...same time?” Oliver was smiling like a fool as she said yes... he hung up a moment later with Diggle looking upon him strangely. 

“What?” He snickered as he stood moving with a renewed purpose towards the door. 

“How will she know where to come?” His question was dodging his but right now he was too happy to care. 

“Trust me she knows...” With that John patted his shoulder and left leaving him standing alone in the small kitchen, a wide grin etched firmly within the lines of his for once relaxed face.

* * *

 

Felicity wrung her fingers tightly around the others as she pressed the small oval shaped button. The ding sparked her nerves as she took a tentative step forward. Her smile grew as she recalled yet another time she’d taken a tentative step forward…

* * *

 

  _“I take it that this wasn’t exactly a first for you?”_

_He laughed, the sound echoed around the empty barren room as it bounced from empty wall to empty wall in search of something to deafen the beautiful if not rarely heard sound. “No…” I looked up into his striking blue eyes with a rim of grey right around the pupil and smiled…_

_“There’s more behind that now tell me…” I lightly trailed a lone finger up and down the length of his slightly stubbled face as his eyes slowly slid shut. “Oliver come on tell me…we have no secrets re-mem-ber…” I edged out the last word slowly for emphasis as he brought his strong arms closer to the sides of my cooling skin._

_“She was someone that I at least cared for but…”_

_His hesitation told me everything his words would fail to convey. “How did she die?”_

_I felt his long empty sigh against the crown of my head; his lips came down slowly after to place a gentle kiss to my for once golden locks. “She was killed a few weeks later in a training simulation…I never even her saw again after that one night.”_

_I felt awful for even asking but that didn’t stop my second equally horrible question. “Did you love her?” My voice was small and muffled as I trailed the tip of my nose down the line of his sternum. I felt a light tinge of relief when I felt his fingers running up and down the length of my spine._

_“Felicity this was well before I started to see you in a different light...” I giggled as I placed a line of small kisses down the path that I’d just made with the tip of my nose. I felt his chest expand as his rich baritone laugh vibrated against my soft lips._

_“I know that Oliver but I still want to know if you actually loved the first girl you had sex with.”_

_He peered down at me as I rested my chin against his chest, my eyes twinkling with a small amount of humor but mostly curiosity. “Come on. Other than you there was just Cooper and you technically don’t count so...”_

_“Why don’t I count may I ask?” I should have known his attention would catch on that. I’d thought he’d be upset or even unnerved but he wasn’t he was calm and curious about the answer I still hadn’t given._

_“Oliver you know why...” My voice was small...so small that I wasn’t quite sure he had even heard me...until..._

_“I didn’t love her. Actually,  I’ve never loved any of them. I cared for them and enjoyed being with them but...”_

_“This is different...what we are is different because unlike them I matter...I’m more than a distraction I’m...”_

_“Starting to become my world...” His last sentence stopped my heart cold._

_“Oliver I...” I was in complete shock. He was lying on his back, his skin bared fully beneath me as he held us together, our chests and stomachs brushing together with each shallow breath. He’d left me, she who could talk her way in and out and then back into a paper bag speechless. “Oliver you can’t be...I’m not...we’re not...Oh God this is so confusing...”_

_I kept talking in small sentence fragments. My forehead was now braced against the same patch of skin that I’d been resting my chin on just moments before. “Felicity...” I’d heard him but still I didn’t respond. I just kept rambling on and on and on about how this couldn’t be happening...about how this had to stop as he continued to hold me to his slightly shuddering body. I must have gone on for what seemed like hours as I wasted our precious stolen moments as he continued to mutter my name. His fingers created a slight edge of electricity as he let me follow my thoughts to their logical conclusion._

_“You losing your mind won’t change anything Felicity...I’m real and one day I’m going to prove that to you...one day I’ll be holding you with the light streaming through the bedroom curtains. “_

_“What?” His little mantra of fact had stopped me as I was about to do my sixth or seventh round of we can’t be real when he stopped me with his perfect words. I muttered once again my voice soft but still thoroughly shocked. “What did you just say?”_

_He smiled down at me softly before he flipped us. Now my back was braced only by the strength of his two rather large palms. I could feel every inch of his body as he pressed us gently towards the hard cool floor. My body was ablaze as little jolts of fire began to course through the blood that was pulsating through my veins. All I could focus on was the way his lips felt as he lowered them down to the lobe of my ear, his breath lightly tickled the small fine hairs along my hair line. “I said I’m real and one day I’m going to prove that to you...but in the mean time...”_

_His voice vanished as his last parting words disappeared into the darkness of my slightly parted mouth. Before I knew it his tongue was tracing along mine as our hips each came together once again making our bodies one...I’d worry later as the sun streamed in through my white bedroom curtains but for now all I wanted to focus on was the strength and the speed of Oliver’s body as he crashed into my own over and over again...our breaths coming out in rough rapid waves as my eyes finally slowly slid shut._

* * *

 

Felicity felt her smile fade as the elevator doors slid open. Her head began to ache as her knees began to shake. She was a bundle of nerves and excitement as she saw the small silver numbers etched upon his hotel room door. She took one last breath muttering, “You better be worth it Queen…” before she let her knuckles rap lightly on the door.

* * *

 

The knock at the door drew him out of his own musings so he took the few small steps towards the silver door.

* * *

 

Felicity held her breath on the other side. She was nervous, far more than she should have been given their history but still her heart continued to hammer away within her chest. She felt her lips curve into a soft smile as the lock turned and the door’s edge parted with the edge of the frame.

It was a frenzy of motions all leading to one perfect moment. His hands slid around her waist pulling her towards him as she partially jumped into his waiting embrace. She nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck as he slowly lifted her well heeled form off of the ground.

 

She knew she was smiling into his neck but she didn’t care...

 

  
She recalled the memory of their first time with more clarity than she’d ever dare admit as she allowed herself to enjoy the warmth his embrace had always offered.  For the first time in such a long time Felicity felt like the many fractured pieces of her life we’re finally beginning to form a complete if not cohesive picture. For so long she’d driven herself crazy as she questioned the sanity of having your life be lived so fully in her non-waking hours.    


 

This boy...

 

This man had slowly taken over every aspect of her soul until she could no longer tell where she began and he actually started...

 

He’d been the first person she thought of when her mother finally broke down and told her the ugly truth about her father’s disappearance...

 

He was her first thought at night as her eyes tightly closed,  begging for sleep to once again arrive...

 

He was her first thought when she opened her eyes in morning. The memories of their time together still flashing like a panoramic picture through her hazy mind...

 

He was the first person she’d trusted with her secrets...

 

He gave her the first unofficial kiss...granted it been on the cheek but for a ten year old that was like walking on cloud nine...

 

He’d held her through every up and down...

 

He’d stood up to her when she was wrong...

 

He fought for her when all she wanted to do was run...

 

He’d given her a love that she still couldn’t comprehend...

 

He’d made her question her overall sanity but...

 

When all was said and done at the end of the day he was the first person that she wanted to give her heart to...

 

“I can feel your entire body smiling. What's made you so happy all the sudden?” He held her closer as if that were humanly possible as he attempted to edge her legs up and around his waist. 

 

“Oliver this skirt won’t really allow that action unless you plan on me going home with two very long slits along the once unmarred material.” She felt the growl that was beginning to emanate from the back of his throat as he tilted his body backward until Felicity was practically covering him from head to toe. She shook her head as he attempted to lean forward...

 

“Oliver no...that is not going to happen so just get that idea out of your head right now.” Felicity attempted to pull herself up so that they’d both be out of the others rather tempted reach. 

 

“Felicity...come on it’s not like we haven’t been intimate before...come on we’ll be really quick...” She edged her hands firmly against his chest as he snaked his arms even further around her slim waist. 

 

“Oliver...”

 

“We’ve waited for so long...Felicity I just want to be with you...”  She smiled softly as she ran her nose along the edge of his own,she could feel his breath catching in his throat...his fingers were now roughly digging into her sides...the pressure was enough to cause the slim material of her shirt to rise up...allowing his fingers to brush roughly against the soft delicate skin. She felt him hardening beneath her as they slowly slid their bodies against the other’s...Felicity  wanted nothing more than to give in...to let  them do what they’d done so many times before in those shared dreams but her promise to someone else she loved stopped her. 

 

“I want that too believe me but Oliver we can’t...” She took a deep steadying breath but he’d decided his own thoughts had waited long enough. 

 

“After we talk you won’t want this anymore...you won’t want me...” 

 

Her heart broke as she watched the shards of his fractured soul come even further apart. 

 

“Oliver....” She whispered his name as she wrapped her arms firmly around his neck attempting to give him what little comfort any small gesture could provide. He shuddered against her as he buried his face within her blonde tresses. His breathes were coming in short rapt staggered lengths as his own fears finally began to take hold. His arms were like a vice grip around her body as the vibrations of his trembling form began to travel within her own. Felicity couldn’t take it any longer, she spoke pressing her lips into his neck between each soft word. 

 

“Oliver please be braver than me...” she exhaled before adding the words that up until very recently she’d all but refused to say. “Let me in...” 

 

His breaths leveled out as they stayed there locked in each other’s arms each waiting for the other to take the first step...”You won’t forgive me for this Felicity...You won’t ever trust me once you learn what I’ve been keeping from you...Letting you in means losing you for good...” His voice cracked and then finally broke with his last heartbreaking words...

 

“I’m not willing to lose you...not when I just found you...” 

 

The light bulbs finally went off and the room was bathed in the light from a thousand suns...He was afraid of losing something that he would never be in danger of losing...which meant...

 

“You know don’t you?” Her voice wasn’t harsh or filled with anger... it was filled with utter and complete relief. 

 

He was the first one to pull away his eyes searching her’s for the answers that she’d been holding in for far too long. “Where do you want to start?...” 

 

She touched her forehead to his and with her eyes closed and her breathing uneasy (as) she said what would be the easiest words of the night. 

 

 “The beginning...We have to start from the beginning...” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always feel free to comment! 
> 
> Come say Hi! I'm on Tumblr @laurabella2930


	8. Facts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a very long break I'm back! They start the big talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter 8**

 

**Facts**

 

_1842_

_Truth and trust both take time, that’s the moral of any long lasting story; in Oliver’s case murder and marriage were arranged events. He stood there near the aging stone frame; his broad chest sloped inward with each exacerbated sigh he managed to create. Moira’s eyes fell over her son’s troubled brow with varying degrees of concern. Their circumstances were grave, their blight was bleak and, her options were few…_

_“Oliver would you please just reconsider what we’re actually asking you to do...She’s at least an attractive woman so bedding her shouldn’t be completely stomach churning.”_

_Oliver glanced over at her with anger and hatred coursing through his darkened glance. “Mother I don’t care if she’s breathtaking I won’t marry that man’s daughter...I won’t bed the daughter of the man who killed my father and put us into this situation...I don’t care what impact it will have on the lower cities...”_

_He knew the battle he was fighting was a losing one but, he’d fight nonetheless.  The marriage was an arrangement born out of obligation and limited options. Moira knew it and so did he; Thea was too young to be sold like chattel on the open market and, Moira was the grieving widow. She’d gone through most of her mandatory mourning period and, still she had another six months to appear shattered and, distraught. Oliver on the other hand was a male in his mid to almost late twenties. His refusals of other eligible women within the ten neighboring kingdoms was legendary, his stubbornness was as well. The truth of the matter was simple. Oliver’s family was a dying breed. His father had been born a nobleman and his mother was a duchess from an equally noble household._

_They’d been wed to unite a nation at war..._

_They’d been married to stop him...._

_Quentin Lance. An odd man to be sure, with a name that even the history books would someday mock, was born to a household with no name, no claim, and no lands to speak of. His kingdom had been won by violent acts of war and bloodshed with the body count rising by the day. He’d sliced through the elder Queen’s neck as if it had been made of melted butter. He’d fallen to the ground at his son’s feet; his bloodied neck seemed to stare grossly at his disgusted son. Oliver still felt sick when the memory of his head rolling down the dampened, blood tinged streets crept into his nightmares. Those horrific images had played on like an endless symphony since that stormy night less than two moons ago. The sting of that memory haunted Robert’s son both night and day._

_“Oliver, he’ll come for us next. He's already made alliances with every household that had been loyal to ours.” She came closer reaching out to gently apply her hand over his thin white tunic. Her hands were shaking as they’d been since he’d come through the family gates...his father’s dead body laid over his aching, blood soaked arms. “This is our only way out...Oliver please I’ve already lost my husband, my good name, and our families lands, please don’t make me watch as he kills you and Thea both.” Her voice was on the edge of pleading at this point so Oliver turned into her light grasp and looked into her worried eyes. His stomach knotted when he recalled a time when her gaze showed nothing but, a mother’s unconditional love._

_“Send the courier...I’ll marry the whore one moon cycle from now.” She smiled tightly. It was her silent way of thanking him for his sacrifice. She left him soon after she lowered her slight hand and, moved with an unshakable grace towards the darkened candlelit hall._

_She’d sent the message with Abraham that night..._

_By dawn only his horse with a simple message was returned. The offer was accepted but the price for making them wait was Abraham’s life. Oliver shuddered to think about what he’d have to endure once Quentin’s rail thin Princess was his lawfully wedded wife._

_Oliver being pragmatic waited for the few remaining candles to flicker before slowly going out; it was ten when he quietly crept down the long stairwell that lead from his room down to the stable yards. Abraham had been a good friend...but he’d also been a good man. Oliver tried but failed to close his heart to the soft cries of Abraham’s wife and daughter. He’d held their shaking white hands while the words of their loved one’s fate fell numbly from his tongue. The words he recalled fell forth like lava from a volcano. The gnawing guilt made Oliver’s heart bleed. The memories of the entire scene left him cold and alone in a world that was set to destroy him. He’d taken on the task of telling them to ease his conscience but, all it did was make the suffering worse. Oliver felt his death was his fault, he died Oliver believed because of foolish, stubborn pride. The guilt from that knowledge alone had Oliver pacing the halls once the castle around him finally met the angels of dreams and sleep; for him those angels never came…_

_To divert his mind he often visited the stables. He found peace in the presence of those whose souls had yet to be tainted by shed blood. He was about halfway to his own horse’s padlock when he heard a small and very feminine voice speaking from mere inches ahead. He slowed his usually fast and rugged steps then leaned further into the wooden walls of the various empty padlocks. Standing just out of sight of the faint glow from the half lit torches he spotted what was possibly the strangest but, also the sweetest exchange he’d ever have the chance to see._

_“Don’t worry, you’re master won’t leave you alone forever...well I hope not at least I mean he’s under a lot of stress right now you know with the wedding coming up and all...” She was thin but strong with a stature of about 5′5 or maybe 5′6 if she stood on her tiptoes. Her dark tresses flowed freely from around her shoulders in light soft looking waves. Her face was hidden by an endless veil of darkened curls but, her voice allowed his mind to wander as she stroked her small delicate hands over his horse’s strong sturdy neck. “Don’t worry boy he’ll come soon...He wouldn’t leave you behind I promise...”_

_Oliver was so enraptured with the small beautiful creature before his very eyes that he’d failed to notice when her melodic voice paused..._

_“Your...your highness?” His eyes snapped forward as she attempted to lower her lithe form to the ground. Her knees were almost to the ground when Oliver finally regained the used of his voice._

_“No...NO you don’t have to do that...” She quirked her head at him slightly but still remained in her crouched position as she hovered dangerously close to the ground. “Please...you don’t have to bow...please just...” he sighed as his hands slicked over his head. “Just get up, there’s no need for you to get all dirty on my account.” She looked at him curiously while she slowly stood; her body sadly started going backward until she hit the door of Goliath's stall._

_“Ouch...”  he chuckled by mistake making she mutter, “How gallant the future king scoffs…”  Her back had hit the door with quite a bit of force so the ouch wasn’t exactly unexpected, but her forceful whisper was. Oliver feeling off kilter managed a slight, “You’re the one that decided to back into a hard wooden door not me.”_

_She huffed when she reached behind her frame and, rubbed gently along the small of her now slightly bruised back. “Well you’re not the one who was just caught talking to a horse by none other than our future King now were you?”_

_Oliver couldn’t help but smirk, she was funny...although he wasn’t sure if she was even vaguely aware of it. “Do you do this often?”_

_She quirked her head while she began gently patting down her black now dust covered pants. His humor filled gaze watched her with vague amusement as her hands came up to the black and red tunic that all the stable hands wore. He kept his face passive while she again attempted to remove the dust and debris. In a moment of silence he wondered if she’d even heard the last comment. His answer came when she finally responded with her face pointed down toward her feet._

_“Do what exactly? Talk to your horse or just talk to horses in general?” She’d found a spot of something on her black boot so she was leaning down to remove it._

_Oliver remained still but continued leaning further into the lone wooden pillar along the front edge of the stables entrance with his arms folding across his chest. “Take your pick.” She glanced up and to his utter surprise gave him a slight smile._

_“I talk to Goliath every night but only to him.” She stood up to her full height as she brushed her hands slightly together. He saw her lithe body tremble a bit when her hands fell together gently across her lower stomach. “May I ask you a question, Your Highness? Her tone he could have sworn was a teasing one so Oliver moved a bit closer. She to his utter surprise didn’t take a single step back._

_Marveling at her apparent disregard to his rank he teased back. “Yes...but on one condition...”_

_She smiled gently again and advanced forward with a few timid steps. Her hands were now joined behind her back, he was marveling at her bravery when she slowly gazed into his darkened eyes. “Name it...” she implored softly with humor._

_“My name is Oliver, use it please.” He answered with an odd sense of fear. He stepped forward once more; her eyes were close enough for him to see the bright blue that glowed beneath the low glow of the fire just above their heads._

_Her small reply sounded affected but also a bit intrigued. “Fine,” she agreed while her skin flushed. “ Oliver, may I ask you a question?” Her smile was still small but perfect since he could fully see her pale cream colored skin. Her lips were full and pink as they shifted from one surprised emotion to the next._

_“Ask away...” He started before his mind blanked at this charming woman’s name. He grabbled for moment, his eyes danced from one edge of his vision to the next. She let him falter until it dawned on him to ask, “What’s your name?”_

_Her eyes were lit from within. Oliver felt his shame ebbing when she politely answered, “Felicity, my name is Felicity.” Her sweet, innocent smile shifted into one of danger and intrigue, “Now Oliver,” she queried gently, “what are you doing down here in the middle of the night?”  Oliver’s smile was growing wider and wider with each passing minute as he stepped closer and closer. He didn’t even realize he hadn’t stopped until her body was just within his aching fingers reach._

_“Well I was thinking about taking a midnight ride but now...” he paused wondering if he could truly answer her question honestly._

_“Now what?” She pushed lightly with her body inching closer to his. Her hands were still tightly bound behind her back as she swayed from foot to foot in smooth easy motions._

_Oliver licked his lips and, breathed deeply. Felicity too took a long breath and waited for his next foolish choice. He reacted slowly with care as he leaned forward. He felt her soft breaths over his rough skin, he could smell the light scent of hay upon her skin, he could feel her surprise at the unexpected moment. He moved until their noses could practically touch before responding; “Now I’m talking to you...”_

_Oliver didn’t know it then but within a few short weeks his entire life was about to drastically change._

* * *

 

The memory for both would be hard to endure but, time as always for the two of them once again was not on their side. She pushed for separation but, Oliver had endured enough emptiness to beg for her soothing touch. She relented of course; he smiled and laced their fingers while he chose were they would be when the truth was revealed. She would have opted for the kitchen stools; he however wanted a space for them to touch as they talked. The couch wasn’t what he hoped for when he daydreamed of this moment but, he marveled that the reality of her touch was so much better than the dream. Both were seated against the back of the couch. He unlaced their fingers; she in turn shifted along the cushions until her legs were over his lap. He grinned in delighted shock, “I thought you were opting for distance?’

She let her soft lips curve, “I changed my mind,” she giggled softly in reply. His smile grew when her fingers were tangled in his close cropped hair; his own drew small patterns along her bent knees. He was leaning into her soft touch when she broke the small moment of silence. “When did your visions start?” 

Oliver hesitated and she of course noticed, “I can go first if that’s easier?” she offered as she had when they were children.

“No…” he frowned then continued softly, “I’m just scared to break through the magic of it all…”

Felicity knew exactly what he meant, “Like if we find the source of the connection we’ll shatter the beauty of our enduring love story?”

“Exactly,” he agreed quickly with the innocence of a man who’d just realized he’d fallen in love.

She rubbed her steady fingers along the nape of his neck before again pushing them both into a very uncomfortable subject, “You know if we don’t figure this out in six months we’ll both be dead…”

His heavy sigh made his own heart bleed, “Well that answers that…” he croaked.

She nodded grimly, “When did you realize that time was against us?”

Oliver kept tracing along the soft lines of her skin, I’m not sure I want to answer that question yet,” he admitted a bit too eagerly.

She respected his fears as she always had and, slowly withdrew her fingers from his skin. Oliver recognized her patterns and, showed her the same courtesy in return. She mumbled, “Thank you,” when he wordlessly placed his fingers along her ankles.  

His chest faltered when he sighed heavily, “I’m scared of being alone again…”

She nodded in solemn agreement, “Me too…”

Oliver felt the comfort of ignorance sweeping over him. The past was hard, it was messy and, most importantly it was the key to their survival.  He managed to croak first, “I don’t know when my visions started exactly but, if I had to guess I’d say it was around the second or third year...what about you?” Oliver watched her closely; her body teemed with raw nervous energy. She bit at her bottom lip and, gulped fearfully.  

“I’m not sure either.” He was about to accept her words but paused when she began tapping her fingers along her wrist.

“Baby you wanted honesty,” he reminded her softly.

She gulped roughly, “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

He stayed his hand and let her decide how much physical contact she wanted. Her eyes blazed with worry, “What if we can’t accept each other?” Oliver remained frozen; she’d done this for years. When she panicked she began to question everything including them. He knew she’d work it out but, still at times the process could be daunting. Thankfully tonight she’d decided to move forward. She prattled on with frozen lungs, “If I was with you physically…” she swallowed roughly, “Like you know “with” you,” she clearly emphasized. “Then the visions would be painful, and I don’t mean like a toothache.”

“So when we had sex…” he gulped almost uncomfortably, “then…”

“Yes,” she nearly screamed. “I would relive one of our previous moments.”   He nodded understanding that while they’d both been keeping secrets they were now finally willing to be completely honest with the other. 

“What if we just talked?” he asked quietly.

She hid a small smirk, “Normally nothing traumatic, I might see something but nothing that left a lasting mark. How about you?”

Oliver bit his tongue until his mouth filled with rust, “Same we had sex and I saw our history; we didn’t and I generally saw nothing too detailed.”

“You’re biting your damn tongue again aren’t you?” she asked when his face wrinkled in preventable pain.

His glare was meaningless against her soft, concerned gaze. “This is hard,” he countered. “It’s hard accepting that once we have sex we’ll probably both die from the damn memories.”

Felicity’s eyes fell in shame, “We won’t die Oliver…” she whispered.

He mumbled, “We both know more than we’re admitting don’t we?”

She kept her blue eyes frozen on her knees, her small frame shook, “We can’t just blow past this Oliver, we have to do this one horrible step at a time,” she sadly confessed. “We have to…” she repeated before brushing her fingers through over his cheek.

He leaned into the timid touch. His skin burned with both happiness and instant regret, “I love you…” he breathed painfully.

She shook her weary head and echoed the sentiment, “I love you too but…”

“But we have to do this,” he replied with ice forming through his breaking heart.

He felt her fingers over his three day old scruff, his eyes crinkled at the sides when he finally opened his heart, “My memories go back to our very first day…”

Her fingers froze along his upper cheek, “Tell me?” she whispered euphorically.

He smiled with his eyes before they slammed shut, “I’d accepted my mother’s plea…” he felt his entire world expanding around him as his mind pushed the dormant memory out into the vastness of his battle weary heart. “We met in the stables I was there trying to escape my obligations and you were there talking to my horse.”

Felicity’s thumb brushed against his skin, “You were supposed to marry Laurel?” she queried as he breathed slowly.

“I was but that night I met a stable hand who stood her ground and made me smile.”

Felicity trailed her fingers along his jaw then gently requested that he open his eyes. He did as asked; she smiled and cocked her head until her blonde hair was resting over the couch’s edge. “I can get to corsets,” she started earnestly, “but not much further and even then the images are hazy like my mind is distorted or the full image is blocked.”

Oliver grinned, “You were awfully tempting in a corset I’ll admit…”

She grinned and brushed her thumb over his smiling upper lip, “Yeah, yeah…” she laughed honestly before sobering enough to ask, “So how did you get to our first moment anyways?”  

“Well you won’t like the direction this goes,” he teased as her pale skin flushed.

“Oh…” she mouthed.

He nodded in reply, “Yeah our first time actually is what allowed me to reach that moment.”

She flushed even more, “So…” she coughed almost uncomfortably, “When we have sex you get to see a collection of our greatest hits?”

“You have a way with words,” he chuckled.

Those blue eyes rolled, he tapped his fingers along her ankle bone while she moved her roaming fingers down to his shoulder. He felt her picking at an imaginary thread when she asked, “What else have you seen?”

He heard the wonder in her voice; but he also heard the resentment as well. She’d been tortured and he made it sound like he hadn’t. He brushed his thumb over her ankle and placed his lips over her knuckles, “It wasn’t all sunshine and roses Felicity. I have one memory that left me broken for days.”

She inched closer while he placed soft kisses to her blanched skin; “Care to share?” she pried with interest glowing in her bright eyes.

He smiled over her skin then whispered into a soft kiss, “I thought for a moment that I wasn’t asleep…”

* * *

 

_“Oliver you can’t save me...it’s too late...please it’s too late....”_

_Her voice was becoming weaker and weaker as the blood began to pool around the cheap white dress she’d borrowed for the day. Laurel had stormed through the front doors screaming and wailing with the gun held tightly in her right hand. I tried to shield her from the impending strike of the hot metal as it screamed through the chapel’s expanse. Sadly she’d had the same thought. She’d grabbed the lapels of my jacket and pulled me toward her shoving me out of the bullet’s path as it found a home within her chest._

_Shocked and dazed I stumbled over on my hands and knees to gather her shaken form into my lap, my hands were brushing rapidly along the sides of her pale face.”Why...why did you do that?”_

_She coughed suddenly...small specs of bright red blood came forth as they lightly stained her rapidly paling lips. “Because I love you...I’d do any...any...” She began to cough even harder as her words became caught in the blood that was rising from her chest._

_“Felicity please rest...we’ll find help...you’ll be fine...baby you’ll be fine do you hear me...”_

_She attempted to laugh but her condition was getting worse as her body slowly began to give way. “If I die protecting you then it was worth it...” She coughed up more blood as she reached for my hands..._

_“Promise me...promise me you won’t die with me...not this time please not this time...”_

_“Felicity it doesn’t work that way, your heart stops, my heart stops you know the rules...” Her eyes were beginning to slam shut. I feared for the last time so I leaned down placing my lips to her chilled sweat laden brow kissing her skin before I uttered what would be our last thoughts. “I’ll find you...It’s always been you...from that first day in the stables it’s always been you Felicity only ever you...” I brought my lips down to hers as she found the strength to kiss me one last time._

_“I love you...” she whispered like a prayer, “I’ve loved you since you asked for my name,” she declared with her last breath. Just like the many times before her words were said over my lips. I felt the familiar pull of the noose upon my neck. The rope practically burned along my trachea as the building around us burned. I heard the cracked bells in the rundown church, the flames licked our skin and, just like before moments after her heart stopped mine followed suit. The last person I saw before my vision went black was Laurel’s tear stained face. She fell to her knees and placed her gloved hand lightly against Felicity’s face. “Figure it out before it’s too late next time...please stop me before I have to kill you both all over again...save me...Felicity save me...” Her words were the last one’s I heard in that life as I clung to Felicity’s limp hand, the pressure of our wedding bands left my heart aching for just a few seconds more..._

* * *

 

“Wow...” she lowly exclaimed. “So you’ve seen one of our wedding days...”

Oliver laughed lowly, “Yes I’ve seen about three and each time they end quite poorly.”

Felicity seemed to sober a bit but she continued her questioning nonetheless. “Do we ever make it past the I do part?”

“I think maybe once but, I’m not sure,” he breathed honestly with his chin over her knuckles.  

She remained mum for mere moments before her confused voice echoed throughout the room, “So if I’m understanding this correctly then whatever happened in our first life is what cursed us in our next ones?”

Oliver chuckled briefly then asked, “Now that I’ve shared a moment can I hold you now?”

She nodded eagerly, “Yeah I’d say revisiting one of my deaths earns you a cuddle.”

“Thank you,” he teased as she inched herself fully into his lap. She nestled beneath his chin; her nose was pressed along his shirt collar while he found his fingers ached to be tangled in her hair. He slowly undid the high ponytail then slowly used his fingers to separate the bunched tendrils. Felicity shook her head lightly while his other hand drifted slowly up and down the length of her arm.  He felt her fingers along his chest before her voice made his lungs vibrate, “So again we always die?”

He chuckled sadly then pressed his lips to her temple, “Yeah we always die…”

She seemed to accept their fate but, he knew her body language better than that. Her fingers rolled along his shirt with fretful movements, her lips brushed over his collar as she sighed heavily. He soon couldn’t resist the urge to break through her not so silent musings. “Felicity just ask your question before we both bust…”

His light request was honored by a dull, “Why would Laurel ask me to save her?”  

He lowered his chin to her crown and sighed heavily, “You’ve hacked your way into every one of my systems and this is what you don’t understand?”

“We’ll cover Julie and Digg later on don’t you fret but for right now I’m more interested in why Laurel wants to be saved,” she countered with sarcasm dripping through her steady tone.

If he wasn’t so content he would have raised his arms in surrender. “How far did you get into my business dealings?” he asked in evasion once more.

“Some of your earnings are deposited to the families of the men you killed in service of the Bratva as you already know and yes I’m aware of your other issue with Alexi.” He kept his thoughts on pause because once she’d taken a deep breath she added, “Now answer my question so we can drudge up other uncomfortable subjects.”

Her voice felt strong even when her tone was light. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze while the hand he had within her hair trailed down to rest upon the nape of her slender neck. He queried once more, “Are you sure you want the truth?”

She nudged his collar bone with her cheek in silent reply. He took another of many deep breaths and spoke tenderly, “Once I saw how we met I became fascinated with the time period. I visited an older library in Moscow when I had time during a business trip and found about three books…”

Felicity’s low smirk of humor made his chest burn, “You willingly read a book?”

Oliver pinched her elbow but, all she did was snuggle closer. He massaged her neck slowly and continued in earnest. “So… as you can imagine I was dismayed with the books were all written in Gaelic.”

“Please tell me you tried to translate it?” she snorted loudly.

“Are you going to let me finish or not?” he scolded lightly with no intention of ever seeing the threat through.  

She pressed her lips to the hollow of his throat and mumbled, “So once you had some very kind person translate the books what prey tell did you find?”

“Quentin had three daughters, and my would be wife was the oldest….” He let his tone fall flat when her body suddenly went ice cold.

He could hear the cogs in her head moving, hell he could hear her heart beginning to break when she lightly babbled in complete shock, “You said I was a stable hand…”

He felt her hair rustling over his chin when she moved her forehead back and forth over the line of his trachea. “This isn’t possible…”she rambled, “This can’t be true…” she exclaimed. “This….” She again sputtered, “This has to be a mistake!”

Oliver moved his hand to her spine, “Sorry honey but Laurel in 1842 according to the books was your sister and, according to the books we took off the night before she and Quentin arrived for the wedding.”

If his heart could have broken for her he would have ripped it apart himself. He felt her shudder in his arms while her soft whispers fell over his shirt, “We left and somehow ended up cursed because you what married the wrong woman?”

“No I married the right woman…” he protested almost angrily.

Felicity’s soft snuffles made his stomach ache, “Then why did this happen? Why did we end up cursed to find each other just so we could die?”

“The books didn’t go that far, hell they didn’t even get past the night we ran,” Oliver swore, “but we both know how to find the answer…” he pushed perhaps a bit too soon.

He felt her pushing him away but, it wasn’t the way he thought she would. He felt her slide her forehead against his parted lips, he kissed her skin almost involuntarily while she pressed her palms to his chest. He adjusted his stance so she still felt comfortable within the tender embrace. “While I personally can’t wait to actually have sex with you we both know there’s another option…” her suggestion made his body freeze.

“No…” he glowered darkly. “You almost died the last time you let her put you under Felicity…”

“Yeah but I also found out that Laurel was alive,” she countered quietly with her forehead still placed along his parted mouth.

“You say that like I should already be aware,” he muttered contritely.

She simply whispered, “Julie and I’ve hacked your servers so don’t think I didn’t see the note to Diggle about my condition after the accident that night.

Oliver paled, “I’d rather discuss that at a later time…”

She mimicked his tone, “Fine we’ll discuss sex then…”

He gulped but whimpered, “Fine…” knowing he’d have to discuss both Julie and Laurel before long.

Felicity’s skin brushed his lips each time he spoke but, he didn’t count on how he’d feel when she confessed to knowing he’d been there all along. “Well you know what happened after we had sex I assume?” she broached uneasily since they technically hadn’t been together in this life.

“Yeah after that night I woke up enraged because I’d woken up at all,” he confessed quickly. He felt her lean into his touch, her forehead slid back down to his throat as her lips traveled down his bobbing Adam’s apple. He gulped greedily when her lips fell over his pulse point, “I spent three days tracking down anyone crazy enough to listen…”

“Yeah I can only imagine,” she giggled when she once more snuggled deeply into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her happily while she pressed her fingers between the folds of his shirt.

He laughed softly, “Anyways once I’d exhausted the nearby options I turned to the less logical ones…”

“Yeah Julie having her medical license being suspended would make her an easy target,” Felicity agreed quickly.

He replied sharply, “Exactly so swaying her corporation took no time at all. Anyways once I explained our situation and she confirmed I wasn’t insane she agreed to contact me if you ever became endangered by your efforts.”

He felt her pulling away again so before she could squirm free he quickly added with a note of shame, “My life wasn’t stable, being with you then would have gotten you and possibly your family killed.”

He felt her relax within his arms once more. He shrugged off the feeling of fear when she murmured, “You’re going to explain that fact at a later date sweetheart…”

“I planned too,” he allowed before his story continued. “Anyways  when you came to her home with bloodshot eyes she of course felt compelled to help.

Felicity rolled her tongue over her lips and sighed, “I’d been dreaming about Laurel…”

“Yeah but it was the wrong Laurel,” he interceded.

She huffed, “I wanted to feel peace and since I couldn’t bring her back I guess I wanted to solve the mystery of us.”

He allowed her grief to consume her then but he’d be damned if he let it happen again. He swallowed his pride and nearly wept with guilt when he said, “When Julie told me you’d taken the cocktail for deep hypnosis I’ll admit I was scared. I’d been tortured, destroyed and made into a killer but none of that compared to how it felt when I heard her stammering voice over the phone. Nothing in my life prepared me for seeing you lying on the ground with Laurel’s slim body shielding you from an oncoming car…”

“You were the one who kissed my forehead weren’t you?”

“Again I couldn’t risk being seen outside of Russia so once the EMT’s arrived I forced myself back into the shadows, he mumbled swiftly to plead his case.

She patted his chest lightly, “Oliver remember I’ve hacked your system I know more than you think I do…”

He bit back a sharp reprimand and let his feelings cloud his judgment, “Then I’ll cut to the chase.” He felt his heart shattering within him as she remained almost frozen in his steel like arms. “We had sex and after that I moved heaven and Earth to find you…” he felt her lips move so he spoke first. “You remember my training and you’ve seen my files.” She nodded but remained quiet as he continued to weave his tale. “I took the life of my trainer; I took his home, his business and his seat among the other Bratva Captains. I became the monster I feared as a child…I became the hatred he hoped to install within my heart but you were the flickering candle in the window of my soul. You were my salvation and, the very idea of exposing you to that darkness made my soul darken.”

She spoke swiftly, “You were in town because of Victor’s son weren’t you?”

“I was,” he answered blandly. “He’d come to form an alliance with the lone American family. I came to prevent that alliance and, that’s when I got the call…” he finally admitted. “I was outside the warehouse when my phone buzzed. They were simply talking so I checked the ID, I listened to her frantic words on the message and, seconds later I was hopping off the window ledge until my feet were on the ground.”

“You’re still evading my real question,” she realized almost silently. “You saw her in that room with Victor’s son didn’t you?”

Oliver swallowed a gnarled plea, “Felicity please don’t make me say it…”

She gulped but remained snuggled to his chest, “Then I will. My mother married the Bratva captain in the states and, that means he’s allied with Alexi, which means…”

“I have to kill him yes.” he interceded coldly. “I have to kill him and if Laurel was with them then…”

“Then you’re going to kill Laurel too,” she whispered with ice in her voice.

He expected her to run, hell he wanted her to run but she stayed, she did what John had claimed….

Felicity stayed but her faith came with conditions.

“When is there next meeting?” she asked suddenly as Oliver refocused his addled brain.

His eyes fell to the ceiling of the hotel room with exhaustion, “Seven days from tomorrow why?”

Felicity began push away, he panicked until she whispered, “Relax Oliver you’re story just reminded me of something…”

He released her somberly as she stood to retrieve her planner. He sat there with his palms over his weary face. He could almost feel the tension of his body flowing through him until her soft voice broke silence around him. “You said seven days right?”

He mumbled against his palms, “Yeah why?”

He heard her footfalls over the area rug; he felt the air around him shift when body pushed the stale around his broad shoulders. He parted his fingers and glanced down when he felt her planner land open faced over his lap. His lips twitched with the beginning of a very broad smile. His rough voice sounded almost joyful when he mumbled, “It’s a full moon…”

Felicity nodded in complete understanding, “Yeah and since we’re together I think we should use that to our advantage…”

He lowered his palms until his fingers were along the edges of the small book, “Did you explain this particular theory to her during a therapy session?”

He saw her bite her bottom lip at his posed question, “No but I think it has merit,” she boasted proudly. “Think about it,” she implored with raised arms. “Our visions are stronger during full moons, our encounters were always deeper, and our impulses stronger so now that we’re in the same place why don’t we try out our theory?”

His mouth fell, “You mean the dream sleep thing don’t you?”

She nodded energetically, “Julie has access to the drugs and you have the money if she can’t get them…”

Oliver blanched, “You almost died…”

She brushed it aside with a hand wave and flippant tone, “Almost and this time we’ll be together…”

He cocked his hand and traced along the nearly empty page, “We still have a lot of ground to cover Felicity. We still haven’t discussed how I know Diggle and even the facts surrounding Laurel or Alexi,” he gently noted with concern. “We still don’t have all the facts,” he stated, “We still are getting to know each other,” he admitted even though deep down he knew her better than himself.

She dismissed him easily, “Yes but we also have a death sentence so what’s more important playing twenty questions or saving our lives?”

He eyed her cynically as she stood before him with crossed arms and a glare. “This could end badly,” he offered cryptically.

Her glare deepened, “Worse than death?” she questioned tightly.

His eyes swept around the room looking for another source of inspiration to strike. She remained steadfast as his heart pounded. The time table was set, the task was simple, and the players were known. He sighed then cleared his throat, “All for one?”

She smiled at their old parting sentiment and sighed, “And one for all…”


	9. Curse Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity falls into the dream world while Oliver makes plans for their departure back to Russia. The past is revealed through a story and a plan. 
> 
> I really suck at summaries so please just give it a shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter Nine: Curse revealed**

 

 

Felicity couldn’t believe he didn’t trust her plan... She glared towards the outer corner of the room where he sat on a throne of undefined doubt. She swept her fingers over the small work table near the center of the room in order to clear any invisible crumbs. Oliver’s low, baritone voice made her spine tingle while he directed the unknown person darkly.

“The shipment is set for tomorrow morning at pier nine, make sure we have extra security for the handover.”

She continued sweeping her fingers over the spotless linen and listened carefully to his dark yet, somewhat alluring words.

“No, ask Digg to deliver the shipment.”

Her interest in his business dealings piqued when she heard John’s last name. She subconsciously leaned backward as her bent back began to go straight. She kept her fingers over the table linen while Oliver’s conversation continued.

“I’m with someone who doesn’t have all the details in regards to this business deal...”

The way he sounded made her head suddenly begin to spin. She leaned forward; the heels of her hands were braced along the edge of the table. She squeezed tightly at the weak faux wood, slowly using the rim as an anchor while she searched for the nearby chair. Oliver’s voice remained preoccupied while her mind began to float. Her throat ran dry, her mouth felt tacky and her blood seemed to boil as her body fell limply into the solid oak chair. His voice seemed like a distant dream as she slowly leaned forward, her head started to ache as she slowly began to close her suddenly sensitive eyes...

The last words she heard before her forehead hit the white linen tablecloth were, “No by the time I return to Russia it will be with my wife in tow.”

* * *

 

_1842_

_Blood in the air was now a common occurrence. The meadow beyond the dark castle walls once was filled with thousands of blooming orchids; now all that filled the once sweet grass was a field of decomposing flesh. The bright vibrant colors of her youth now were nothing more than red, grey or black. Her blue eyes scanned the dead fields; she spotted Laurel’s almost raven colored hair near the edge of the clearing. Her pale lips curved when another head of hair come bouncing out behind her. His hair was darker, like that of a moonless night. His skin was tanned from years of sun exposure but, his eyes were filled with the light of an endless day._

_Felicity called out from her bedroom window, “Laurel! Your time is running short so please make haste before we’re both led to the dungeon in chains!”_

_Her dark haired sister waved her hands frantically. Felicity counted the waves as she’d done since childhood. One meant I’ll be in soon, two meant five more minutes and three meant for heaven’s sake stall. Felicity’s frown could be heard across the barren wasteland that was their home when her sister’s hands flew through the air three times. She mumbled beneath her sweet breath, “If I’m beaten for this lie I’ll make you pay,” knowing she’d simply just run away._

_Laurel and, her suitor disappeared behind the sole remaining tree that still held the flicker of the lands dying hope. The green flowering leaves had yet to tarnish in the cold, blood soaked atmosphere. Felicity was about to shut the glass windows when she heard a gruff, and rather unpleasant voice booming from behind her. Her fingers froze on the stone clasps, her back straightened and shoulders fell back as her mouth formed a slight sneer in trepidation of who the booming voice could belong to._

_“It’s odd to think of your sister soon being the wife of that Queen brute isn’t it?”_

_Felicity instantly swallowed her sneer and breathed in relief, “Father I take it they agreed to your deal?”_

_His boots clicked dangerously along her stone laden floor, the hand woven rugs seemed to scamper away from his heavy footfalls. Felicity kept her back turned and her eyes peeled while her father slithered around her like a snake eyeing its prey. “I take it she’s off with that boy again...” he growled with heavy regret. “She’s going to dishonor us all if she’s not careful...” he grunted before he folded his thin, starved form into one of her aging rocking chairs._

_Felicity’s shoulders eased when the demon wasn’t mentioned, “Father I was willing to take her place...the deal could have been for me and not her...” she tried again with desperation racing through her veins._

_She shifted so her sad eyes fell on his even sadder face. The wrinkles along his eyes had settled even further into his tightly stretched skin, his pupils were blown, his coloring was ashen and his hair nearly gone. He laughed emptily, “I’m not the snake Felicity, those bodies don’t bear weight in my heart, their blood doesn’t coat my skin, their cries don’t haunt my dreams, I’m just the vessel for the man who would be King.”_

_Felicity grumbled immediately, “Alexi has turned our family into a pack of cold blooded murders. He’s stolen our lands, raped our women and left you weak and frail. He’s the one that killed Robert Queen and for what, a Kingdom of bones?”_

_Quentin regarded his youngest daughter. Her blue eyes blazed with rage, her thin but strong frame from years of manual labor gave off the appearance of a servant, not a Princess. Felicity’s gaze wavered when she felt his sorrow gnawing at her bones. “Father it’s ridiculous. Robert’s death was the last straw and you know it.”_

_A tired sigh left his dry throat, “Felicity he’s after power and Robert’s stronghold over the four kingdoms was unacceptable.”_

_Felicity rolled her eyes, “He didn’t have a stronghold so stop with the party line and, for once be honest with yourself at least.”_

_“The lie is easier to stomach,” Quentin argued as his daughter’s body shuddered in anger._

_“Yes because he was a good man,” Felicity argued quietly. “He’s the son of the original bloodline, his great grandfather founded the damn alliance between the four ruling Kingdoms! We were set to be the fifth up until Alexi rode into town on his blasted horse chanting about how the Queen’s had stolen the wealth of the four kingdoms!” Felicity nearly lost her temper as her rant continued. “He’s slaughtered King Tiberius, he then stormed the gates of Queen Ivy’s castle before moving onto the meadows beyond the reach of King Linus.” Felicity saw her father’s eyes narrow, “He’s destroyed our entire world and, now he’s planning on what pushing Laurel into a marriage of agreement?”_

_Quentin exhaled tiredly, “Sweetheart I don’t know what to do, I’ve lost all control. The guards answer to him, Sara has joined his army to help the women and children escape, Laurel has sold her body to keep him occupied and, you...” he paused gravely, “You my youngest are planning on seducing Oliver Queen into choosing you over Laurel...”_

_Her mouth fell in shock before she found her ire, “I’m his type and, it’s better than being that pig’s secondary warm body once my sister can no longer stomach her fate.” Her lecture continued as the tinge of blood and, death filtered past her still partially open window, “He killed our mother, he tried to burn our city to the ground, he only stopped when he learned of the long held good faith alliance between us and the Queens.” She saw her father’s jaw clench, his mouth grew grim and his skin seemed to shimmer with a thin layer of sweet. “He threatened us so you reacted, you gave him your army, your home and then even your daughter’s all so he’d leave the alliance alone and, now he’s not even going to honor that.”_

_Her father’s forehead wrinkled, “Tommy’s saddled your horse hasn’t he?”_

_Felicity glanced out the window and searched the edge of the treeline. There on the lowest branch of the sole remaining tree lay a black robe with a red collar. “He’s left me an old uniform from his days in the Queen’s service. I’ll leave tonight for their castle, I’ll seduce Oliver and by the time you arrive for the wedding we’ll be gone.”_

_She heard his feeble bones crack, “You’ll end up falling for him Felicity, you won’t have the heart to betray him...” his words cut her to down to her soul._

_Felicity leaned against the window ledge. Her lips thinned as she pursed them tightly, “Daddy do you think it’s true?” she asked shortly._

_His graying eyes fell in defeat, “Sweetie it doesn’t matter what I believe, all that matters is he does...”_

_“He killed mom,” she fired back tonelessly. “He’s killed hundreds and, made you a monster to what gain access to a treasure trove that doesn’t even exist?” she questioned coldly._

_Her father’s sigh made her body grow cold, “He’s more interested in the legend behind the treasure than the treasure itself I suspect.”_

_Her eyes shot upwards as her body grew taut, “And that is?” she urged with growing intrigue._

_“Your mother had you read the history of our two families I suspect?” Felicity nodded slowly as her father smiled softly. “So you’ve read about how our families originally met?”_

_“Dad cut to the point,” Felicity pressed with rolled eyes._

_His empty smile made her stomach drop. “My point sweetheart is that Oliver’s great, great grandfather Robert according to the story was forced into an arranged marriage with your great, great grandmother._

_“Okay, but then that makes our families related,” Felicity squirmed uncomfortably._

_Quentin’s eyes crinkled in delight at his daughter’s reaction; “Yes if he’d actually married her…” he chuckled lightly._

_Felicity’s mouth dropped, “Who did he marry?” she breathed with endless curiosity._

_“He married a woman named Megan,” he sighed almost regretfully._

_Felicity gasped, “Dad what are trying to say?”_

_His wrinkled eyes faded into one’s of despair, “Robert was set to marry Laurel’s namesake. The union was supposed to unite our two kingdoms, it was supposed to put an end to the war but,”_

_“But he married another,” she gulped._

_Quentin’s hollow head nodded slowly. “Yes and because of that our two kingdom’s remained at war.”_

_“I still don’t understand how all this matters,” Felicity muttered. “So what he married some other woman big deal!” she breathed. “It doesn’t explain why Alexi beheaded Robert and, it doesn’t explain why he’s forcing Laurel into an arranged marriage with Oliver Queen!”_

_“I see your mother left out the disturbing part,” Quentin retorted with a sunken brow._

_Felicity watched his aged body falter before her very eyes. “And what did she leave out?” Felicity commented almost in fear._

_His sad smile made her bones ache, “Three days after the wrong marriage occurred the two were slaughtered in their sleep. According to the legend they were killed by your great, great grandmother and her lover at the time but, what makes the story interesting is of course the simple fact of Robert’s existence.”_

_“You think Megan lived long enough to give birth to their child don’t you?”_

_His chin fell in exhaustion, “According to the legend Megan escaped through a secret tunnel hidden by the stone walls of the aging castle after her husband used his last moments to shove a dagger through the heart of the unnamed lover. She then found sanctuary with the Ivy Queen’s court while Laurel’s namesake lived. Megan delivered the child she’d named Jonas nearly nine months later. He was given this name because it was Robert’s middle name. Most feel it was her way of honoring his birthright but, some say it was the only way she could ever give him a piece of what he’d lost. He was raised in the Ivy Court with no true knowledge of his heritage. Our heartbroken ancestor ruled over the fallen Queen’s kingdom for the next fifteen years by using fear as a weapon. It wasn’t until the boy reached the tender age of sixteen that his mother fell ill. She told him of his birthright moments before she took her last breath. The boy according to the legend cried out in rage. He stormed through the dark castle until the current Ivy Queen found him sobbing on the stone floor with his beaten knuckles by his bent knees. She lifted his chin and kissed his brow, he accepted the small token of affection but still his rage wasn’t quelled. The Queen feeling pity offered the boy a deal. If he was able to defeat the ones who killed his father she’d grant him one wish. The boy accepted but, his grief blinded him to the truth of the deal he’d struck. She kissed his brow gently once again before leaving him to his thoughts. Two years later our family was reduced to ashes. Jonas reclaimed the throne and, in doing so he honored a his deal with the Ivy Queen.”_

_“Dad this sounds oddly like some twisted fairytale,” she breathed in disbelief._

_The older man smiled at his weary daughter. “Oh it get’s better,” he murmured as her scowl grew. “The Ivy Queen offered him everything, she offered him the world but the boy was bitter. His sole wish was to never feel the burden of love like his foolish parents.”_

_Felicity waved her hands through the stale air, “And…” she mused in wonder, “What the hell does that mean?”_

_Quentin’s eyes flickered with mischief, “Jonas’s soul wish was to never fall in love. The Queen agreed of course but, warned him that his wish came at a price. Love is a sacred gift and, forsaking it comes with an unthinkable cost. The boy’s eyes slipped to the floor as the Queen continued. If the wish was granted then he would never feel love. He would never feel it nor would he receive it. Still he seemed unaffected so she continued. She warned him that if by some miracle he indeed found love the consequences would be devastating. He seemed annoyed but continued to listen as she spoke. The price of this gift was an equally heavy curse. If love was found and then returned the two and all who surrounded them would be cursed to repeat history until the cursed party accepted that love and loss went hand in hand. The boy threw his angry arms toward the skies blindly as he screamed in hollow agreement. The Queen tilted her head in acceptance as her warning fell on deaf ears.”_

_Felicity’s body tingled, “Let me guess if he or any of his ancestors fell in love then what some stupid curse would be revealed?”_

_He inwardly laughed at her theory but continued anyways. “Jonas went on to become a very rich King. He kept his alliance with the Ivy Court and they in turn made sure he wanted for nothing. Other kingdoms joined the alliance and, all seemed quiet until Jonas met the Ivy Queen’s youngest daughter…”_

_Felicity breathed, “He fell in love with her didn’t he?”_

_His sad smile spoke volumes, “Yes my angel he did.”_

_“But this doesn’t explain what Alexi has to gain from this union?” Felicity finally muttered once her brain could no longer keep her lips silent._

_“Megan wasn’t just some random girl. She was our ancestor’s best friend…” Quentin breathed as Felicity’s body finally fell to the floor. “Robert in a sense married a Lance because the two were like sisters he just married the wrong one.”_

_The pieces began to meld into one very tortured puzzle. “Alexi’s attempting to rewrite history by placing us into certain roles then?” she mumbled aloud. Lance nodded swiftly which caused Felicity to add, “So Laurel’s the soon to be Queen and he’s her unnamed lover?_

_Felicity fell silent as Lance whispered, “And that’s why he beheaded Robert so now the only person left is Oliver who in the story would be Jonas Queen. ”_

_Felicity paled, “He’s trying to recreate history?”_

_“Yes,” Quentin’s aching voice rattled sadly. “You’re my adopted daughter, Laurel is your older sister and Oliver is set to be King. He’s aligned everything so the story will repeat itself he’s just forgotten one small detail…”_

_Felicity nearly vomited when she croaked, “If the story is true then I’m…” her voice faltered painfully. “If this whole story is true then none of us are descendants are we?”_

_She saw his facial muscles twitch nervously as she slowly went back through his story. His grave, “Honey are you sure you want to travel down this path?”_

_Felicity’s head fell with soft thuds back and forth as her neck cracked. She mulled over the story until her words no longer made sense whether she said them or not.  “Okay so Alexi thinks that the curse will bring him a kingdom…” Quentin simply stared at her stricken face as she mumbled her way through the horrific truth. “In the story the original Laurel and her lover killed Robert but, Megan managed to escape.” Her throat burned when she realized what she was about to say… “Megan gave birth to Jonas who wished to never feel the sting of love’s pain…” Felicity’s eyes slid to the ground when a strangled, “He met the Ivy Queen’s youngest daughter and, fell in love which activated the curse…” left her burning throat. Felicity’s heart nearly shattered when the fragmented pieces finally pulled together to form a fairly chilling picture. “Robert and Megan are now Robert and Moira,” she mumbled painfully. “Jonas is Oliver, Alexi and Laurel are still themselves and I your adoptive child am the Ivy Queen’s youngest daughter…” She nearly cried as her heart began to bleed, “Alexi isn’t recreating history for a Kingdom he’s doing it to wipe the slate clean…”    For once her adoptive father said nothing he simply remained frozen before his chilled throat let out a somber..._

_“And he can do so if we’re already...”_

_“Cursed,” Felicity breathed before she let our another wrecked, “We’re all cursed because Oliver as Jonas loved and lost me...”_

_Quentin’s heavy breaths fell over his stricken body softly, “If the legend is true then the curse can only be broken once he’s learned his lesson I suspect.”_

_Felicity suddenly grew cold, “We’re cursed to repeat history until Oliver realizes he was wrong,” she interjected sadly. “He’s been cursed to find and, then lose his one true love because he wished to never feel the sting of love’s touch. The curse can’t be broken unless…”_

_Quentin’s eyes fell, “Felicity don’t…” he begged as her words rumbled past them both._

_She smiled weakly, “Don’t what? Realize that the curse can only be broken once Oliver accepts my death?”_

_Quentin’s chest heaved, “There has to be another way…”_

_She kept her sad eyes on his boots and folded her fingers together, “Yes but the only way I’ll find it is by letting fate have it’s way…”_

_He grimaced when he attempted to lean forward. His cracked ribs creaked when he let out a labored breath, “So you’re still going to seduce him?”_

_She swallowed the lump in her throat, “No, if the legend’s true then I won’t have to seduce him,” she replied honestly. “I’m going to let fate guide me into his arms so we can both find the solution...and then I’m going to make sure Alexi’s plan fails...” she announced almost bravely._

_Her father muttered, “You’ll have one month Felicity...”_

_She replied coldly, “That’s all I’ll need.”_

* * *

 

_“It’s insane is what it is?” Sara lowly barked from the entrance of the stables._

_Felicity shot her a dirty look but continued saddling her horse. “The legend is the key to undoing Alexi, the Queen’s library is the biggest in the four kingdoms, I can do this, besides the damn story is about me,” she scolded lowly once she had the leather straps placed around her slim wrists. “He’s not an unreasonable man Sara, getting him to allow a lowly stable hand into his library shouldn’t be all that difficult,” she concluded aloud as she placed her foot in the strap._

_Sara unlike Laurel resembled both their mother and father; her shorter stature gave her strong legs, a toned stomach and most importantly a deadly glare. Her dirty blonde hair was tied into a loose French braid that hung to the middle of her back. She crossed her leather bound arms and tapped her chipped nails over her steel cuffs. “Dad knows about this insane plain?”_

_Her gruff words made Felicity’s heart sputter, “Yeah mom he knows,” she replied with sadness hanging on every last syllable._

_Felicity cocked her head when Sara leaned along the doorframe, “Felicity you’re going to fall in love with him,” she breathed. “You’re going to fall for his good looks while he simply looks right past you,” she mumbled with pain._

_“He’ll see a stable hand Sara, he’ll see nothing more…” Felicity lowly lied in hopes of keeping Sara away from the truth of her plan._

_Sara’s hard eyes softened as she gave her younger sister a loving gaze, “No Lissy you’re not hearing me, you’ll fall for him because you won’t want him to see through you.”_

_Felicity by now has had the reins in both her gloved hands. She had her knees along her horse’s sides, her full lips were thin, her eyes were set and her heart was thundering through her chest. She softened her eyes momentarily then agreed quietly, “Regardless we have a month to save our sister so I’d best be on my way.”_

_Sara moved backward while one arm pointed outward towards the dying sun, “Follow the path and don’t take any detours. His stable will be on the right side. I’ll be in the village in about ten days. We’ll meet in the woods near the village’s edge,” she offered while Felicity edged her horse forward._

_Sara patted the horse's sides as they passed. Felicity gripped the reins, taking a steadying breath, “I’ll see in you ten days…” she mumbled as her sister’s fingers drifted through the horse's mane._

_She heard her gasp with agony, “By then it’ll be too late…” as her hand fell to her side. Felicity said nothing more, she simply edged her worn boot heels into the horse's side and whispered with grave intent…_

_“Go Gabby, go….”_

* * *

 

Present Day…

The room around her smelled stagnant like old leather and faded cologne; she rubbed her cheek along the surface of something dark yet warm as her eyes struggled to adjust to the growing lights around her. Her tongue felt odd, like she’d been eating pieces of dusty wood with seeds from a dandelion surrounding the coarse edges. She coughed lightly, her ears tingled when his soft, familiar voice raced through her muddled brain then, straight toward the ache within her forlorn heart.

“She’s not okay!” she heard him sputter out sadly as her body jostled along the soft, leather seats of what she now assumed was his rented town car. “Driver, take the left up ahead…” she heard him ask calmly as the car gently curved down an unseen road.

Felicity moved her cheek along the lapel of his jacket, her lips brushed against something soft, yet rough… her eyes ached, her temples burned and her ears twitched as she moved her lips along the unfamiliar item.

Oliver’s voice dipped as the car began to slow, “We’re outside... “ he murmured before she felt something moving gently along her bottom lip. Felicity pursed her lips together into a small smile when she realized that the unfamiliar item was the pad of Oliver’s thumb. His voice shifted into a brisk, “Just hurry, she’s waking up, I’m risking everything by bringing her to you…”

Felicity’s smile slipped into a faint scowl as she muttered, “Geez one little blackout and everyone starts to panic…”

She felt Oliver’s lips falling over her forehead in a frenzy of soft touches and, relieved phrases. Felicity snuggled along his chest while he whispered into her soft hair, “If you ever do that again without me I swear I’ll….”

“What?” she croaked with sawdust in her throat. “Yell at me because I just figured out how to save us from the damn curse?”

Oliver’s lips stilled but, not before a confused, “You what?” left his soft lips.

Felicity with her eyes still closed whispered along his chest with the fabric of his coat brushing against her skin, “I hope you’ve taken me to Sara…” she breathed as the driver exited the car…

Oliver’s breath hitched along her forehead, “And why would I do that?” came his constricted reply.

She smiled as the warmth of his touch enveloped her once cold form, “Because if I’m right she’s one person who might be able to remember what we’ve both lost…”

Moments later she heard the harsh rasp of Oliver’s voice along her skin...about four seconds later she understood why...

**Author's Note:**

> So.... What did you think? I'm not sure if I'll even continue this story so your thought or comments would be greatly appreciated.


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